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People in big cities prefer to live alone or in small family units instead of large family groups. Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?

People in big cities prefer to live alone or in small family units instead of large family groups. Do you think this is a positive or negative trend? QVkXw
It is widely acknowledged that urban citizens now tend to live individually or in nuclear families rather than extended ones. In my opinion, this phenomenon brings both benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, this development can be extremely positive for two main reasons. Living alone or in a nuclear family, people can have more freedom in doing what they want without disturbing other family members, especially those who are from different generations and different lifestyles. Young people, for example, prefer eating fast food and listening to loud, upbeat music while the elderly are keen on traditional meals, and soft relaxing music. Living separately would, therefore, give them opportunities to satisfy their needs and avoid conflict that often occurs within extended families, leading to a more fulfilled life. Furthermore, living in a smaller family, parents will have more time to care for their child, thereby strengthening their relationships. On the other hand, staying away from other family members would have some harmful impacts. Some people find it hard to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life taking into consideration the fact that they live away from their family members. Young people sometimes feel depressed or even develop a sense of isolation when they do not have parents or siblings beside them to help and give them advice. Living alone or in small families also discourages people from cooking and doing exercise since they do not have someone who can share the same interest. The greatest joy of life is usually found in shared experiences with family, and if staying alone cannot bring many of such experiences, that would be a negative aspect of individualism. In conclusion, it seems to me that living in a small family can have both positive and negative impacts on people's life.
It is
widely
acknowledged that urban citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
individually
or in nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
rather
than extended ones. In my opinion, this phenomenon brings both benefits and drawbacks.

On the one hand, this development can be
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for two main reasons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
alone or in a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have more freedom in doing what they want without disturbing other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members,
especially
those who are from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
lifestyles. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for example
, prefer eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food and listening to loud, upbeat music while the elderly are keen on traditional meals, and soft relaxing music.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
separately
would,
therefore
, give them opportunities to satisfy their needs and avoid conflict that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
occurs within extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, leading to a more fulfilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, parents will have more time to care for their child, thereby strengthening their relationships.

On the other hand
, staying away from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harmful impacts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
away from the hustle and bustle of city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
taking into consideration the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
away from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
feel depressed or even develop a sense of isolation when they do not have parents or siblings beside them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and give them advice.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
alone or in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
also
discourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from cooking and doing exercise since they do not have someone who can share the same interest. The greatest joy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
usually
found in shared experiences with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, and if staying alone cannot bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of such experiences, that would be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect of individualism.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay People in big cities prefer to live alone or in small family units instead of large family groups. Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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