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Many people fail in school, but they live a very successful life

Many people fail in school, but they live a very successful life yPk6r
Many people fail in school, but they live a very successful life. This is the case with almost all the billionaire businessmen in the world. There are many reasons which make this anomaly happen. To begin with, this happens because people might be bad in subjects taught in school but they have a skill which they have mastered in their life. These skill may be either negotiation, or some other technical skill. For example Steve Jobs, although he was a college drop out but had a love for technology. Which made him lead a team to success. Another thing, which makes a person successful is not the degrees and marks one got during his college time. But it is the focus and courage one has to follow his dreams and not worrying about society and pay very much. We can see the example of such traits in Jack Maa, he was an average student and not very successful in his early days but when he started Ali Baba, he got successful very quickly due to his focus. Most important reason for success is that, these people never shy away from trying new ideas and this courage to try new things often do wonders for these people. In a nutshell, although school and college education plays a very important role in making people successful, but it does not guarantee success. We can see the example of such success all around us. The basic skills like finding of passion and focus are more important than college education and scoring a good job. That can be learnt from these people.
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Many
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people
fail in school,
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but
they
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live
a
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very
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successful
life. This is the case with almost all the billionaire businessmen in the world. There are
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many
reasons which
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make
this anomaly happen.

To
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begin
with, this happens
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because
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people
might be
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bad
in subjects taught in school
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but
they have a
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skill
which they have mastered in their life. These
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skill
may be either negotiation, or
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some
other technical
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skill
.
For example
Steve Jobs, although he was a college drop out
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but
had a
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love
for technology.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
made him lead a team to success.

Another thing, which
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makes
a person
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successful
is not the degrees and marks one
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got
during his college time.
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But
it is the focus and courage one
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has to
follow his dreams and not worrying about society and pay
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very
much. We can
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see
the example of such traits in Jack
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maa
, he was an average student and not
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very
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successful
in his early days
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but
when he
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started
Ali Baba, he
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got
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successful
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very
quickly
due to his focus.

Most
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important
reason for success is that, these
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people
never shy away from trying new
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ideas
and this courage to try new things
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often
do wonders for these
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people
.

In a nutshell, although school and college education plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not guarantee success. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the example of such success all around us. The basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like finding of passion and focus are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than college education and scoring a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job. That can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Many people fail in school, but they live a very successful life

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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