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people in big cities have to move to small towns by government encouraging

people in big cities have to move to small towns by government encouraging 8ag1r
An absolute number of urbanistic people face a plethora of obstacles and difficulties, including environmental pollution and time-consuming pathways to their jobs. That is why, I think, the government ought to persuade citizens to move to villages and smaller towns in order to reduce catastrophic consequences for human health. Nowadays people in big cities, usually capitals or other most-visited places, have a number of issues that have a devastating impact on people’s health. The first and the main problem is air and water pollution, that causes a plethora of diseases, such as stomach ache, difficulties in breathing and so on. The second obstacle that causes such health problems as stress, eye diseases, body-motion difficulties, tremor and insomnia, is time-consuming roads to and from citizens' jobs. Moving to big cities, people start to spend all their time on roads in stress, forgetting about their health. The government is responsible for their citizens’ lives and health and that is why it is proposed to move to the villages and towns. I am concerned that changing location from the polluted area to a place with fresh air and underground water sources, eating grocery without pesticides and genetic modifications, will have a great positive impact on people health. To sum up everything that has been started so far, it is essential to mention that a vast number of citizens in urbanistic regions suffer from a lot of health and mental diseases, time-consuming trips for work and pesticides in their food that people in regional towns do not have. The government has to show people the possibilities of living in villages and small regions.
An absolute number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
urbanistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face a plethora of obstacles and difficulties, including environmental pollution and time-consuming pathways to their jobs.
That is
why, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to persuade citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to villages and smaller towns in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
catastrophic consequences for human health.

Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities,
usually
capitals or other most-visited places, have a number of issues that have a devastating impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. The
first
and the main problem is air and water pollution, that causes a plethora of diseases, such as stomach ache, difficulties in breathing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. The second obstacle that causes such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, eye diseases, body-motion difficulties, tremor and insomnia, is time-consuming roads to and from citizens' jobs. Moving to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to spend all their time on roads in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, forgetting about their health.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is responsible for their citizens’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
that is
why it
is proposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the villages and towns. I
am concerned
that changing location from the polluted area to a place with fresh air and underground water sources, eating grocery without pesticides and genetic modifications, will have a great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
health.

To sum up everything that has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, it is essential to mention that a vast number of citizens in
Possible spelling mistake found.
urbanistic
regions suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and mental diseases, time-consuming trips for work and pesticides in their food that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in regional towns do not have. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the possibilities of living in villages and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
regions.
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IELTS essay people in big cities have to move to small towns by government encouraging

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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