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People have differing views about whether museums should ask visitors to pay for their admission. While admitting that this policy has the pros and cons, I opine that its benefits outweigh drawbacks.

People have differing views about whether museums should ask visitors to pay for their admission. While admitting that this policy has the pros and cons, I opine that its benefits outweigh drawbacks. 52WwP
Museums are not only the source of information but also a great place for passing the leisure time. However, numerous museum takes entrance fee while others don't. While selling tickets for museum does have some benefits I personally think it has more drawbacks than the advantages. However, museums are packed with historical and valuable artifacts, in order to maintain and protect them experts and staffs are required. By taking additional charge museum can pay their employees and utility bills. Secondly, tourism plays a vital role to the worlds economy. Promoting national museums to the tourists resulting in more human traffic and ticket sells will contribute to the museum's revenue which will help museum to spent other areas than covering paycheck. For example, last year parliament did not include zoo, museum and park to the budget. On the other hand, setting up conditions for citizen to visit museum sounds somewhat illogical, because it is their identity and right as a nation and to explore it respectively. Initially, to promote nationalism government should make historical places free of charges. This will impact the kids and youngsters to feel proud of their culture. Furthermore, it will give opportunity to a number of educational institute to arrange their study tour in national museums. Students will not only enjoy their time but also get motivation from their history and think of contributing to enrich their history. To illustrate, after visiting important places children's are interested to know more about history than before their visit. Lastly, explorers as well as historians should be able to study various items without paying for the entrance. This will add more information to the collected pictures and curved objects. For instance, many stone carvings that discovered from underground later linked to the pal dynasty. In conclusion, even though admission fees can add revenue not only to the museum but also to the economy, still it has more drawbacks than advantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the source of information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a great place for passing the leisure time.
However
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
takes entrance fee while others don't. While selling tickets for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
does have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has more drawbacks than the advantages.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are packed
with historical and valuable artifacts, in order to maintain and protect them experts and staffs
are required
. By taking additional charge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
can pay their employees and utility bills.
Secondly
, tourism plays a vital role to the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "worlds'" or "world's"?
worlds
economy. Promoting national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
to the tourists resulting in more human traffic and ticket sells will contribute to the museum's revenue which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
to spent other areas than covering paycheck.
For example
, last year parliament did not include zoo,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
and park to the budget.

On the other hand
, setting up conditions for citizen to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
sounds somewhat illogical,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is their identity and right as a nation and to explore it
respectively
.
Initially
, to promote nationalism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
historical places free of charges. This will impact the kids and youngsters to feel proud of their culture.
Furthermore
, it will give opportunity to a number of educational institute to arrange their study tour in national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. Students will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enjoy their time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivation from their history and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of contributing to enrich their history. To illustrate, after visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
places children's
are interested
to know more about history than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their visit.
Lastly
, explorers
as well
as historians should be able to study various items without paying for the entrance. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more information to the collected pictures and curved objects.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stone carvings that discovered from underground later linked to the pal dynasty.

In conclusion
,
even though
admission fees can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
revenue not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the economy,
still
it has more drawbacks than advantages.
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IELTS essay People have differing views about whether museums should ask visitors to pay for their admission. While admitting that this policy has the pros and cons, I opine that its benefits outweigh drawbacks.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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