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People have differing views about man's social life with regard to the effects of technology.

People have differing views about man's social life with regard to the effects of technology. yQYP
People have differing views about man's social life with regard to the effects of technology. I would disagree with this opinion, while I believe that with the advancement of modern technology people used to do more communication with each other. From various perspectives, I completely agree that during modern life, people have become far more sociable. From a social point of view, there would definitely be some affirmative points, which can arrive to increasing the amount of communication. In terms of technology, there have been an array of means of social media, which leads to encouraging individuals to have more activity, so as to become more social. Based on economical outcomes, technology brings financial bonus for people and boost their social activities to support them financially. Obviously, there have been some online businesses just related to the technology that basically people are forced to get much familiar with others to get success. In spite of these opinions, some people assert being more social is not the consequence of technology. Turning to the social view, as technology especially social media can be addictive, thus it can lead to a negative impact of staying home instead of being in society. In addition, it can as fulfill individual's entire time as no longer would interested to be in contact with others. Moreover, based on online activities, a large number of face-to-face gatherings have decreased, which can lead to being more unsocial. However, not only gatherings but also in contact businesses which require following pieces of stuff at the shops. In conclusion, although it might seem that some people disagree that technology has lead man to be more social, I personally believe that without doubt, it can more be a modern way of communication.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have differing views about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life with regard to the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. I would disagree with this opinion, while I believe that with the advancement of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do more communication with each other.

From various perspectives, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that during modern life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become far more sociable. From a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
point of view, there would definitely be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
affirmative points, which can arrive to increasing the amount of communication. In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, there have been an array of means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media, which leads to encouraging individuals to have more activity,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
become more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
. Based on economical outcomes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
brings financial bonus for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and boost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities to support them
financially
.
Obviously
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
online businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that
basically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much familiar with others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these opinions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert being more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
is not the consequence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Turning to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
view, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media can be addictive,
thus
it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of staying home
instead
of being in society.
In addition
, it can as fulfill individual's entire time as no longer would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "interest"
interested
to be in contact with others.
Moreover
, based on online activities,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
face-to-face gatherings have decreased, which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
to being more unsocial.
However
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gatherings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in contact businesses which require following pieces of stuff at the shops.

In conclusion
, although it might seem that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
, I
personally
believe that without doubt, it can more be a modern way of communication.
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IELTS essay People have differing views about man's social life with regard to the effects of technology.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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