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People have different views about whether or not well-known events should essential in easing international tensions. Although, I accept that football world cup and Olympic games more useful for a country and being more a patriotism, I agree with the idea that sport events should receive more support. On the one hand, I believe the international sport events more beneficial for the state there are many advantages. Firstly, majority of fans are always attend for those Olympic games and football world cup are given more affection as well as this is more beautiful times. Whenever, being fan for nation it is a very best situation and when the national country win the World cup or Olympic games all the nation's people to be a happy. Secondly, USA is a good choice because this country are always number one in the world rank for visiting fans the statistics shows. Many American fans go to the popular events for being fans for there nation. Lastly, this results are so essential for the st

People have different views about whether or not well-known events should essential in easing international tensions. Although, I accept that football world cup and Olympic games more useful for a country and being more a patriotism, I agree with the idea that sport events should receive more support. On the one hand, I believe the international sport events more beneficial for the state there are many advantages. Firstly, majority of fans are always attend for those Olympic games and football world cup are given more affection as well as this is more beautiful times. Whenever, being fan for nation it is a very best situation and when the national country win the World cup or Olympic games all the nation's people to be a happy. Secondly, USA is a good choice because this country are always number one in the world rank for visiting fans the statistics shows. Many American fans go to the popular events for being fans for there nation. Lastly, this results are so essential for the st DlMoE
People have different views about whether or not well-known events should essential in easing international tensions. Although, I accept that football world cup and Olympic games more useful for a country and being more a patriotism, I agree with the idea that sport events should receive more support. On the one hand, I believe the international sport events more beneficial for the state there are many advantages. Firstly, majority of fans are always attend for those Olympic games and football world cup are given more affection as well as this is more beautiful times. Whenever, being fan for nation it is a very best situation and when the national country win the World cup or Olympic games all the nation's people to be a happy. Secondly, USA is a good choice because this country are always number one in the world rank for visiting fans the statistics shows. Many American fans go to the popular events for being fans for there nation. Lastly, this results are so essential for the state because sport's awards bring more beneficial history. Moreover, young people learn about them also they have more patriot for nation. To conclude, i believe the international sport events more released patriotic emotions for every popular events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
should essential in easing international tensions. Although, I accept that football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
cup and
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
more useful for a country and being more a patriotism, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
should receive more support.

On the one hand, I believe the international sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
more beneficial for the state there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages.
Firstly
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
fans are always
Consider using a past participle here: "attended".
attend
for those
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
and football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
cup are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more affection
as well
as this is more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
times. Whenever, being
Consider using a past participle here: "fanned".
fan
for nation it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
best situation and when the national country win the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
cup or
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Olympic games
all the nation's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a happy
.
Secondly
, USA is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this country are always number one in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
rank for visiting fans the statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
American fans go to the popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
for being fans for
Did you mean "their"?
there
nation.
Lastly
,
Did you mean "these"?
this
results are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
essential for the state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
sport's awards bring more beneficial history.
Moreover
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learn about them
also
they have more patriot for nation.

To conclude
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe the international sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
more released patriotic emotions for every popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
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IELTS essay People have different views about whether or not well-known events should essential in easing international tensions. Although, I accept that football world cup and Olympic games more useful for a country and being more a patriotism, I agree with the idea that sport events should receive more support. On the one hand, I believe the international sport events more beneficial for the state there are many advantages. Firstly, majority of fans are always attend for those Olympic games and football world cup are given more affection as well as this is more beautiful times. Whenever, being fan for nation it is a very best situation and when the national country win the World cup or Olympic games all the nation's people to be a happy. Secondly, USA is a good choice because this country are always number one in the world rank for visiting fans the statistics shows. Many American fans go to the popular events for being fans for there nation. Lastly, this results are so essential for the st

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • People have different views about whether or not well-known events should essential in easing international tensions. Although, I accept that football world cup and Olympic games more useful for a country and being more a patriotism, I agree with the idea that sport events should receive more support. On the one hand, I believe the international sport events more beneficial for the state there are many advantages. Firstly, majority of fans are always attend for those Olympic games and football world cup are given more affection as well as this is more beautiful times. Whenever, being fan for nation it is a very best situation and when the national country win the World cup or Olympic games all the nation's people to be a happy. Secondly, USA is a good choice because this country are always number one in the world rank for visiting fans the statistics shows. Many American fans go to the popular events for being fans for there nation. Lastly, this results are so essential for the st