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People face for greater risks in our modern way of life when they did it in there past. How far do you agree or disagree? v.2

People face for greater risks in our modern way of life when they did it in there past. How far v. 2
It is a glare fact that, older days are tougher and more discomfort for living than advanced way of life, that presently seen. I disagree with the statement that a place of good facilities and well advanced modern era is not at greater risk but the older years is riskier and dangerous to live in. To begin with, if we make a clear search towards past we can come accross diseases are more communicable, the facilities and drugs to control spreading around the community or area was not much advanced and developed. More over mortality and morbidity rate were high contrast to present years. In our era of modern science and technology it is easy to compact any sort of infection as well. The doctors, scientist are more educated and knowlagable. Research in every aspects of through diseases with experiences. Secondly, crime in the time of older years was raminant. It is much more difficult to trace out the criminal, who commited the crime with supporting proofs contrast to present. In this modern year it is not easier for a criminal to roam around after he or she convicted to a crime. The law is stronger and the officers are well trained to capture thieves in a glimpse. Well upgraded technologies, powerful equipments are the fountain to tackle a crime level to a extend. However, some believes that the past is old and sweet as a wine. The living style was more relaxing and food which are cultivated entirely from crops through agriculture, Although people were healthy and fit. But food is not one among the priority, it is definetly security and friendly environment. And afterall we all knowing the saying " prevention is better than cure" that is only advanced and supporting to its outcome in this modern years than past was. To sum up, the life nowadays is much easier with less disease, due to the upgraded drugs and technologies. So living in this present is safer and far better than past, where even the people could not efford saving lifes despite scarcity in faclities and knowledge without any research to overcome problems.
It is a glare fact that, older days are tougher and more discomfort for living than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
way of life, that
presently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. I disagree with the statement that a place of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
era is not at greater
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the older years is riskier and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
search towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
Possible spelling mistake found.
accross
diseases are more communicable, the facilities and drugs to control spreading around the community or area was not much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
and developed. More over mortality and morbidity rate were high contrast to present years. In our era of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
science and technology it is easy to compact any sort of infection as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. The doctors, scientist are more educated and
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowlagable
. Research in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "aspect"?
aspects
of through diseases with experiences.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in the time of older years was
Possible spelling mistake found.
raminant
. It is much more difficult to trace out the criminal, who
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "committed", the past tense form of the verb 'commit'?
commited
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
with supporting proofs contrast to present. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
it is not easier for a criminal to roam around after he or she convicted to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. The law is stronger and the officers are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
to capture thieves in a glimpse.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Well
upgraded technologies, powerful equipments are the fountain to tackle a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
level to
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
extend.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believes that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and sweet as a wine. The living style was more relaxing and food which
are cultivated
entirely
from crops through agriculture, Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were healthy and fit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
food is not one among the priority, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
definetly
security and friendly environment. And
Did you mean "after all"?
afterall
we all knowing the saying
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; prevention is better than
Possible spelling mistake found.
cure&quot
;
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advanced
and supporting to its outcome in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
years than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
was.

To sum up, the life nowadays is much easier with less disease, due to the upgraded drugs and technologies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
living in this present is safer and far better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, where even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could not
Possible spelling mistake found.
efford
saving
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
despite scarcity in
Possible spelling mistake found.
faclities
and knowledge without any research to overcome problems.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay People face for greater risks in our modern way of life when they did it in there past. How far v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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