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Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? v.12

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? v. 12
Each year, more and more people from all over the world leave their native countries and migrate to another one. Some choose to immigrate to better their lives while others are forced to escape the turmoil at home. This activity results in positive consequences in the former case and unfortunately lead to negative in the later as outlined in this essay. To begin with, many individuals, especially from the developing countries migrate to US, Canada, UK, Australia, New Zeland, and other European countries to improve the quality of their lives. These highly desired developed countries offer individuals vast array of opportunities according to their skill level and educational background. For example, high tech professionals such as software engineers and biotech researchers move to the USA, because their knowledge and skills are in high demand at many world-class entities. The end result is a better lifestyle for the immigrant and improved economy of the host nation. On the other hand, many people and their families are affected severely by the ongoing wars in their countries, they become refugees and are forced to migrate to other neighbouring countries. However, sometimes this causes more problems than it solves, resulting in negative consequences for both immigrants and their countries of destination. For instance, many of the refugees cannot find jobs because of the lack of language skills and difficulties in adaptation. Furthermore, not all of the refugees receive proper asylum, food, and medical care. So they are at risk even after leaving their homeland. In conclusion, some fortunate people immigrate to have better life prospects in a new country, refugees are contrarily forced to relocate to a new country. For the former, it improves their personal lives and boosts the already vibrant local economy. But, the latter group lost everything in their home and now they are obligated to start a fresh life in a foreign land, most of the time it ends up in failure and burdensome on the local communities.
Each year, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all over the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and migrate to another one.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
choose to immigrate to better their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
while others
are forced
to escape the turmoil at home. This activity results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences in the former case and unfortunately lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
in the
Did you mean "latter" (=the second of two items)?
later
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
outlined in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals,
especially
from the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
migrate to US, Canada, UK, Australia, New
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zeland
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. These
highly
desired developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
offer individuals vast array of opportunities according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
level and educational background.
For example
, high tech professionals such as software engineers and biotech researchers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the USA,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are in high demand at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
world-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
entities. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
result is a better lifestyle for the immigrant and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
economy of the host nation.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and their families are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
severely
by the ongoing wars in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
and
are forced
to migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
this causes more problems than it solves, resulting in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences for both immigrants and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of destination.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
cannot find jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and difficulties in adaptation.
Furthermore
, not
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
receive proper asylum, food, and medical care.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
even after leaving their homeland.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fortunate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
immigrate to have better life prospects in a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refugees
are
contrarily
forced to relocate to a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. For the former, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and boosts the already vibrant local economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, the latter group lost everything in their home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they
are obligated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a fresh life in a foreign land, most of the time it ends up in failure and burdensome on the local communities.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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