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People do many different things to stay healthy. What do you do for good health? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.2

People do many different things to stay healthy. What do you do for good health? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2
Nowadays plastic bags have become an integral part of our life. Despite the fact that they are cheap to produce and easy to use, plastic bags also cause enormous pollution both on land and in oceans. For that reason some people claim they should be banned. I absolutely agree with this statement due to two reasons, which will be further discussed in this essay. First, we should care about our future. It is a well-known fact that humans have the ability to analyse and make conscious decisions. However, people still do not realise a close connection between the environment and people's health. Plastic bags cannot be thrown away, buried or burnt without any consequences. Indeed, it is our children who will be left to deal with these consequences, and there is no guarantee they will manage. Hence, the sooner we stop producing plastic bags, the safer it will be for future generations. Second, it is not as difficult as it may seem. Today, people have created eco-friendly alternatives to plastic bags using various materials. There are organic fabrics like hemp, cotton, flax just to name the few. Although manufacturing of such bags might be more costly than of plastic ones, they are multi-usable, which makes them more advantageous in a long-term perspective. To conclude, I think there is evidence to suggest that plastic bags should no longer be produced. Not only does plastic pollute the environment, but it also has a detrimental effect on people’s health. Moreover, living merely in the present and not having a bigger picture might cost mankind a high price. Therefore, we should become more mindful about the planet we live on for our own sake.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
have become an integral part of our life. Despite the fact that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
to produce and easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
also
cause enormous pollution both on land and in oceans. For that reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim they should
be banned
. I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement due to two reasons, which will be
further
discussed in this essay.

First
, we should care about our future.
It is a well-known fact that
humans have the ability to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
conscious decisions.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
a close
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
the environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
cannot
be thrown
away, buried or burnt without any consequences.
Indeed
, it is our children who will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to deal with these consequences, and there is no guarantee they will manage.
Hence
, the sooner we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
, the safer it will be for future generations.

Second, it is not as difficult as it may seem.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have created eco-friendly alternatives to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
using various materials. There are organic fabrics like hemp, cotton, flax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to name the few. Although manufacturing of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
might be more costly than of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
ones, they are multi-usable, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more advantageous
The usual preposition for "perspective" is "from" not "in." "from a long-term perspective".
in a long-term perspective
.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there is evidence to suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
should no longer
be produced
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
pollute the environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has a detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health.
Moreover
, living
merely
in the present and not having a bigger picture might cost mankind a high price.
Therefore
, we should become more mindful about the planet we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sake.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay People do many different things to stay healthy. What do you do for good health? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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