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Do you agree or disagree that learning through concepts is better than learning through facts v.1

that learning through concepts is better than learning through facts v. 1
Nowadays, the question of whether academic subjects or practical ones should be taught in schools has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Both subjects will be discussed in this essay. There are a number of benefits of having access to academic courses. First, since students want to land decent jobs later, academic subjects are necessary. In fact, these courses prepare for learners fundamental knowledge to do complex jobs, like doctors or engineers, which require deeper understanding about nature of subjects, thus making them become competitive in labour markets. Second, by learning, academic courses, students can continue higher education. This means that they are armed with the fundamental knowledge to do research or study, which is conducive to human innovations and developments later. Nevertheless, there are various compelling reasons why students should learn vocational courses. First, people who participate practical courses may be able to have practical skills and work experience without committing 4 years of college. This means that their learning time will be shortened significantly, which helps them make a living as soon as possible. Second, students who want to work abroad tend to learn vocational courses. In fact, the nations, such as Canada or Japan, are lack of workers who accept to do manual jobs, thus skilled workers who is trained from these courses are able to work for these nations, which helps reach a balance of labour markets in these countries. In conclusion, no matter academic subjects or vocational ones have the same importance. Depending on the career path, students should be able to choose their best mix.
Nowadays,
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
or practical ones should
be taught
in schools has been receiving a great deal of public attention. Both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will
be discussed
in this essay.

There are a number of benefits of having access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
First
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to land decent jobs later,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are necessary. In fact, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
prepare for learners fundamental knowledge to do complex jobs, like doctors or engineers, which require deeper understanding about nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
thus
making them become competitive in
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
markets. Second, by learning,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can continue higher education. This means that they
are armed
with the fundamental knowledge to do research or study, which is conducive to human innovations and developments later.

Nevertheless
, there are various compelling reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should learn vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
participate practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
may be able to have practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and work experience without committing 4 years of college. This means that their learning time will
be shortened
significantly
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to work abroad tend to learn vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. In fact, the nations, such as Canada or Japan, are lack of workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
accept to do manual jobs,
thus
skilled workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'workers' should be used.
is
trained from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are able to work for these nations, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
reach a balance of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
markets in these countries.

In conclusion
, no matter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
or vocational ones have the same importance. Depending on the career path,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be able to choose their best mix.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay that learning through concepts is better than learning through facts v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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