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People decide to have a child later. Why does it happen? What consequences for society it may have?

People decide to have a child later. Why does it happen? What consequences for society it may have? lxgMb
These days some people are reluctant to have kids. The author believes that the main reason for this phenomenon is the financial limitation. There is a chain of consequences for this social behavior, starting with lowering the population growth rate and culminating in having an old society in the future. To begin, there are many reasons why individuals are not willing to give birth to a baby, but the author deems financial problems as the main reason. Whenever a family faces difficulty making ends meet, they try to work as hard as they can to provide for their needs. In this situation, having a baby is the last thing they care about as they do not like to be engaged in taking care of a baby and lose their jobs. Therefore, spouses postpone being parents unless they have a well-paid job. Consequently, the rate of birth will decline continuously and result in a chain of consequences for society in the future. The most crucial drawback of losing people's tendency to have kids is lowering the rate of population growth. Therefore, the number of workers will decline, causing some problems for companies to fill their vacancies. The problem intensifies when this trend continues generation to generation and makes a country with many seniors. Garmany is an excellent example of the countries facing this problem. For the past fifty years, the rate of childbirth in this country has reduced to zero in the current decade. So, Germany is dependent on immigrants to provide the workforces its companies need. The authorities admit that the current problem of Germany is a consequence of its past economic recession. To sum up, the author believes that low-income rates make people unwilling to be parents, which will make an old society in the future.
These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are reluctant to have kids. The author believes that the main reason for this phenomenon is the financial limitation. There is a chain of consequences for this social behavior, starting with lowering the population growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and culminating in having an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
society in the future.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why individuals are not willing to give birth to a baby,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the author deems financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as the main reason. Whenever a family faces difficulty making ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
, they try to work as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
as they can to provide for their needs. In this situation, having a baby is the last thing they care about as they do not like to
be engaged
in taking care of a baby and lose their jobs.
Therefore
, spouses postpone being parents unless they have a well-paid job.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of birth will decline
continuously
and result in a chain of consequences for society in the future.

The most crucial drawback of losing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's tendency to have kids is lowering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of population growth.
Therefore
, the number of workers will decline, causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to fill their vacancies. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
intensifies when this trend continues generation to generation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a country with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
seniors.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Garmany
is an excellent example of the countries facing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. For the past fifty years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of childbirth in this country has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to zero in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
decade.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, Germany is dependent on immigrants to provide the
Possible spelling mistake found.
workforces its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
need. The authorities admit that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of Germany is a consequence of its past economic recession.

To sum up, the author believes that low-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
unwilling to be parents, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
society in the future.
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IELTS essay People decide to have a child later. Why does it happen? What consequences for society it may have?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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