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people complain that they have difficulties to sleep

people complain that they have difficulties to sleep GMBVB
Throughout the last 15 years the lack of sleep in people worldwide has increased by 65%, especially in cities as New York, Toronto and Madrid, where life is expensive and getting a decent job is not a piece of cake. The lack of sleep could impacted people with pysichological issues such as depresion, and stress, without forgetting about people in hospitals who are suffering for a physical pain or are waiting for a better news. Although many people seems to be happy on social media, a significant number of people suffer internally due to the social pression, work-life balance, the lost of a loved one, or they do not find something to fight anymore. For example, a plethora of famous people such as Justin Biber, Drake, Selena, etc, have been involved in drug problems, wheareas it represents a shelter for people without a clear objetives and guidance, from my perspective this is a clear instace of depresion. Even though quite people think that depression is not a real desease, it is, and it is killing people, affecting from teenagers to eldery adults. Moreover, the laking of sleep has another cause that is as known as stress, our society is driven us to have a perfect family, house, car and job. Sometimes life is not easy and it come with some challeges such as lost our jobs, whereby the debts start pushing until you may decide do not live one more day. Furthermore, our society says that all women need to be thin and beautiful no matter what, thus, a huge percentage of women around the world are looking for a estical procedure to look skiner or less old. Therefore, I think that our society puts a lot of pressure on our shoulders, we do not need to have a perfect family, instead we are allowed to have some family issues and to solve them as a human being with respect and love. It is time to look for more emphaty between each other and to see people for what they are, not for what they have, which is increasing the lack of sleep by 65%.
Throughout the last 15 years the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worldwide has increased by 65%,
especially
in cities as New York, Toronto and Madrid, where life is expensive and getting a decent job is not a piece of cake. The lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "impact"
impacted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
pysichological
issues such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
depresion
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, without forgetting about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in hospitals who are suffering for a physical pain or are waiting for a better news.

Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
seems
to be happy on social media, a significant number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer
internally
due to the social
Possible spelling mistake found.
pression
, work-life balance, the lost of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one, or they do not find something to fight anymore.
For example
, a plethora of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as Justin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Biber
, Drake, Selena, etc, have
been involved
in drug problems,
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheareas
it represents a shelter for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
Possible spelling mistake found.
objetives
and guidance, from my perspective this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
Possible spelling mistake found.
instace
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
depresion
.
Even though
quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that depression is not a real
Possible spelling mistake found.
desease
, it is, and it is killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, affecting from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
eldery
adults.

Moreover
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
laking
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
has another cause
that is
as known as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, our society
is driven
us to have a perfect family,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, car and job.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
life is not easy and it
Did you mean "comes"?
come
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
challeges
such as lost our jobs, whereby the debts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
pushing until you may decide do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
one more day.
Furthermore
, our society says that all women need to be thin and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
no matter what,
thus
, a huge percentage of women around the world are looking for
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
estical
procedure to look
Possible spelling mistake found.
skiner
or less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that our society puts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure on our shoulders, we do not need to have a perfect family,
instead
we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
family issues and to solve them as a human being with respect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. It is time to look for more
Possible spelling mistake found.
emphaty
between each other and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for what they are, not for what they have, which is increasing the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
by 65%.
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IELTS essay people complain that they have difficulties to sleep

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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