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People can eat a variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadavantages? v.1

People can eat a variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadavantages? v. 1
Thanks to globalisation, people from across the globe can now enjoy cuisines from other regions, which are food that cannot be produced natively. This trend has led to higher consumption of food from foreign sources than those produced locally. I will analyse both the merits and demerits of this phenomenon. On the one hand, it is irrefutable that utilization of foreign food products has its advantages. Firstly, these food may provide people with a highly nutritious diet. For instance, a breed of berries offering abundant amount of vitamins can only by grown in Asian tropical climate. Secondly, there is a vast array of exotic cuisine that can only be found in one specific region. However, thanks to globalisation, people from different nations can enjoy each other’s food and as well promote their own unique cuisine. On the other hand, higher consumption of foreign food also has its demerits. For example, the more demand for food from other areas, the higher its prices. Consequently, local manufacturers of these food can sometimes not afford to buy and enjoy their own products. Another disadvantage of this trend is that importing and exporting food mean constant transportation, which lead to more pollution caused by emissions from vehicles. Lastly, as products need to be transported over long distances, there would be increased use of chemicals and preservatives to keep them intact. These harmful substances may be unhealthy to consume. In conclusion, food from foreign sources being more rapidly consumed than those from local producers has its advantages regarding health promotion and enjoyment of exotic cuisines. Some of its disadvantages are in terms of higher prices for local use, pollution due to transportation, and potential health problems caused by consumption of relating chemicals. Ultimately, I believe the demerits of this trend definitely outweigh its merits.
Thanks to
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from across the globe can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
enjoy cuisines from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regions, which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
that cannot
be produced
natively
. This trend has led to higher consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
sources than those produced
locally
. I will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both the merits and demerits of this phenomenon.

On the one hand, it is irrefutable that utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products has its advantages.
Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
may provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with a
highly
nutritious diet.
For instance
, a breed of berries offering abundant amount of vitamins can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you maybe mean "buy" or "be"?
by
grown in Asian tropical climate.
Secondly
, there is a vast array of exotic cuisine that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be found
in one specific region.
However
, thanks to
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations can enjoy each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
as well
promote their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique cuisine.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, higher consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
also
has its demerits.
For example
, the more demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
areas, the higher its prices.
Consequently
, local manufacturers of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
not afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and enjoy their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
products. Another disadvantage of this trend is that importing and exporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
mean constant transportation, which lead to more pollution caused by emissions from vehicles.
Lastly
, as products need to
be transported
over long distances, there would
be increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of chemicals and preservatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them intact. These harmful substances may be unhealthy to consume.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
sources being more
rapidly
consumed than those from local producers has its advantages regarding health promotion and enjoyment of exotic cuisines.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of its disadvantages are in terms of higher prices for local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, pollution due to transportation, and potential health problems caused by consumption of relating chemicals.
Ultimately
, I believe the demerits of this trend definitely outweigh its merits.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People can eat a variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadavantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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