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People buy a product if it fulfills their needs; there in is no need for advertisement. Do yo agree or disagree?

People buy a product if it fulfills their needs; there in is no need for advertisement. Do yo agree or disagree? OEgoN
At present advertisement is a main strategy for all products and it is a key factor of global market Sales. A growing number of people believe advertisement is a convenient way to select a better product from Market. I disagree the given statement, in the following paragraphs, In intend to support my arguments. Firstly, every advertisement has given information of variety of product and it's availability. So, this system is help customers to select a good product from Market. Because, a large number of are introducing in every day. Meanwhile people could not get any information of that type of products. However, the use of adds and advertising were easily reach in society. Also it is a better way to consider and gather variety of knowledge for product. For instance, considering pen, at present a lot of pen brand available in market and each brand should promote their unique features like, colour, size and price. So people can buy any type of pen according with their own requirements. Furthermore, advertisement are highly benefit for sellers rather than consumers. Because, every advertisement is reach out to wide range of customers. So, it would reduce the large cost of publicity of product and time lagging. Also this type of advertisement is easily mention the current market trends. Even, customers choice and taste is fluctuating every time so we should replace products features and indicate that change in our advertisement. For example, in the case of mobile phone, currently more people fascinating better camera quality phones so most of advertisement firstly illustrates their camera features. It may be helpful for seller to find the customers satisfaction things. In conclusion, the products sale if mainly depends upon the advertisement result in market. So it is the main way to recognise satisfaction of customers and maintain a relationship between consumers.
At present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a main strategy for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and it is a key factor of global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
Sales. A growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is a convenient way to select a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Market
. I disagree the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement, in the following paragraphs, In intend to support my arguments.

Firstly
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information of variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and it's availability.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this system is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to select a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Market
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
are introducing in every day.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any information of that type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
and advertising were
easily
Consider using a past participle here: "reached".
reach
in society.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it is a better way to consider and gather variety of knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For instance
, considering pen, at present
Possible agreement error. The noun pen seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of pens".
a lot of pen
brand available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
and each brand should promote their unique features like,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
, size and price.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any type of pen
Did you mean: "according to"? according to: (as stated/in the opinion of)
according with
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
requirements.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
are
highly
Consider using a past participle here: "benefited", "benefitted".
benefit
for sellers
rather
than consumers.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is reach out to wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the large cost of publicity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and time lagging.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
easily
Consider using a past participle here: "mentioned".
mention
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
trends. Even,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
choice and taste is fluctuating every time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we should replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
features and indicate that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
For example
, in the case of mobile phone,
currently
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fascinating better camera quality phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
firstly
illustrates their camera features. It may be helpful for seller to find the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "customers'" or "customer's"?
customers
satisfaction things.

In conclusion
, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "products'" or "product's"?
products
sale if
mainly
depends upon the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is the main way to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
satisfaction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and maintain a relationship between consumers.
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IELTS essay People buy a product if it fulfills their needs; there in is no need for advertisement. Do yo agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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