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People attend college or university for many different reason

People attend college or university for many different reason OEwkM
Education is becoming more advanced these days, with more and more good institutions and colleges springing up. The most crucial goal for most students, particularly those who have recently graduated from high school, is to get into a top institution or college. . I wholeheartedly reckon that they chose to continue studying due to two important reasons: equipping them for their future careers, obtaining new experience in their field of work. To begin with, It is evident that a college or university graduate will have a better chance of landing a solid career. Because major and well-known firms regularly employ experts in their fields, having a degree or certification from a university or institution, which validates the talent and competence of people who hold it, usually gives you a perk. Therefore, It is easier for people to apply for a well-paid job, when they have a greater level of education. Another striking reason is that we can motivate people to enroll in college or university to gain valuable experience. With a lot of wonderful outdoor activities, professional guidance and especially acquiring the best expertise will become one of the most interesting and memorable moments in their students’ lives. In most cases, they can meet a lot of professors who are prospectable and famous in their field that help students develop soft skills for future careers. In conclusion, people chose college and university to continue studying after graduating for a variety of reasons. However Having a decent career and new experiences, on the other hand, are the key reasons why many of them want to go to college or university.
Education is becoming more advanced these days, with more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
institutions and colleges springing up. The most crucial goal for most students,
particularly
those who have recently graduated from high school, is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a top institution or college.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
I
wholeheartedly
reckon that they chose to continue studying due to two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
: equipping them for their future careers, obtaining new experience in their field of work.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, It is evident that a college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
graduate will have a better chance of landing a solid career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
major and well-known firms
regularly
employ experts in their fields, having a degree or certification from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or institution, which validates the talent and competence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who hold it,
usually
gives you a perk.
Therefore
, It is easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to apply for a well-paid job, when they have a greater level of education.

Another striking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that we can motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enroll in college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to gain valuable experience. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
wonderful outdoor activities, professional guidance and
especially
acquiring the best expertise will become one of the most interesting and memorable moments in their students’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
In most cases
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
professors who are
Possible spelling mistake found.
prospectable
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in their field that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students develop soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for future careers.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
chose college and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to continue studying after graduating for a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Having a decent career and new experiences,
on the other hand
, are the key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them want to go to college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
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IELTS essay People attend college or university for many different reason

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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