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people assume their lives started after retirement

people assume their lives started after retirement kNWn
Many people assume that if the age of retire arrive, they can live far more. From this point of view, they have a lot of enjoyable time for living without spending time for working. I readily concur with this statement to extend for some reasons. A wide range of people work all the time to reach at the special age for ceasing. Somebody believe that their life can be started since they stop working because they do not involve with rule and their time is for own self, they can make decision for the time of waking up and going to sleep, they do not have to put the time or organize it for working outdoors 8 hours a day, it means that they can have rein about their life instead of they can travel everywhere and every when that they want, on the other hand, there is no space for getting stress or being nervous by others, because people face with a lot of challenge at space work so it can be really interesting time for being relax or spending a lot of time with family of friends sometimes people put a lot of time for themselves. From another perspective, there are some people that they want work all the time that they hate sitting without any benefit for others who are called workaholic. Often happened, people want to run away from problems that they exist to work since they are involved with something else and they do not have time for thinking additionally it can be considered as a life style because they like having competition besides that, they have a lot of ideas which are true by working so it is relate to personal thinks, that result in this group of people find them self at work space. In short it is good point to put the time for doing everything that people want and it is getting better when people have outcomes because of the their attempts of a lot of during days. I totally agree with this topic because putting onto a lot of rules can make people annoyed and having a lot of time for own self can be more interested.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that if the age of retire arrive, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far more. From this point of view, they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for living without spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. I
readily
concur with this statement to extend for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.

A wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to reach at the special age for ceasing. Somebody
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "believes".
believe
that their life can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not involve with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of waking up and going to sleep, they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or organize it for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
outdoors 8 hours a day, it means that they can have rein about their life
instead
of they can travel everywhere and every when that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
,
on the other hand
, there is no space for getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
or being nervous by others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of challenge at space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can be
The extreme adjective for interesting is "fascinating", or "exciting".
really interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for being
Consider using a past participle here: "relaxed".
relax
or spending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family of friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
put a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves.

From another perspective, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that they hate sitting without any benefit for others who
are called
workaholic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
happened,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to run away from problems that they exist to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
since they
are involved
with something
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
else and
they do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for thinking
additionally
it can
be considered
as a life style
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they like having competition
besides
that, they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which are true by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
Consider using a past participle here: "related".
relate
to personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
, that result in this group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find them self at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
space.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "short, it".
short it
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
point to put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for doing everything that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
and it is getting better when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have outcomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "their attempts" or "the attempts"?
the their attempts
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of during days. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
putting onto a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
annoyed and having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self can be more interested.
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IELTS essay people assume their lives started after retirement

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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