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People are wearing western style clothes rather than the traditional type of clothes. Why is the case? Is it positive development or negative development?

People are wearing western style clothes rather than the traditional type of clothes. Why is the case? Is it positive development or negative development? 7JDMb
Nowadays, wearing western clothes for attractive appearance has gained a significant amount of people's attention because of stylish and variety of collections. I believe that is positive development in society. One of principle positive development of an increase western wear cloths trends in modern era it protects students wearer from dress based discrimination during migratiing or studying in other countries. For example, Indian students studying in canada, wearing western outfits on a campus less likely feel cultural difference because they also wear the same clothes as other students on the campus if fact it will help to fit with the new cultural atmosphere and peoples. Moreover, people coming from different backgrounds in the workplace wearing western office dress look better. Also some time situations for wearing suits for meetings which boosts productivity of work. Furthermore, another reason for my concern is western clothes shops available every nook and corner in the world which help eliminate clothes carrying during travelling to another country. As an example, people going to long summer vacations in different destinations by air travel but airlines limit luggage weight for this reason people who wear western wear buy easily new clothes from near the shop. Additionally, western wear a wide variety of choices in clothes and plethora patterns available and it enables people to socialise with anyone in all the world. In conclusion, western wear brings a great deal of benefits to people and society. I believe that adopting western culture in clothes becomes more respectful looks and socialized.
Nowadays, wearing western
clothes
for attractive appearance has gained a significant amount of
people
's attention
because
of stylish and variety of collections. I believe
that is
positive
development in society.

One of principle
positive
development of an increase western
wear
cloths
trends in modern era it protects students wearer from dress based discrimination during
migratiing
or studying in other countries.
For example
, Indian students studying in
canada
, wearing western outfits on a campus less likely feel cultural difference
because
they
also
wear
the same
clothes
as other students on the campus if fact it will
help
to fit with the new cultural atmosphere and
peoples
.
Moreover
,
people
coming from
different
backgrounds in the workplace wearing western office dress look better.
Also
some
time situations for wearing suits for meetings which boosts productivity of work.

Furthermore
, another reason for my concern is western
clothes
shops available every nook and corner in the world which
help
eliminate
clothes
carrying during travelling to another country. As an example,
people
going to long summer vacations in
different
destinations by air travel
but
airlines limit luggage weight
for this reason
people
who
wear
western
wear
buy
easily
new
clothes
from near the shop.
Additionally
, western
wear
a wide variety of choices in
clothes
and plethora patterns available and it enables
people
to
socialise
with anyone in all the world.

In conclusion
, western
wear
brings a great deal of benefits to
people
and society. I believe that adopting western culture in
clothes
becomes more respectful looks and
socialized
.
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IELTS essay People are wearing western style clothes rather than the traditional type of clothes. Why is the case? Is it positive development or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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