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People are now living much longer lives than before and many fell we should all remain in workforce for longer. Do you agree or disagree ?

People are now living much longer lives than before and many fell we should all remain in workforce for longer. Eq0Qx
With their extended lifespan, people are now expected to work for longer ages. In this essay, I will give my view of how working for longer age can be beneficial, as it may help people's social lives and their finances. Also, I will mention how boring can a retirement become after certain stay-at-home time which may be hurtful to mental health. People of all age require social needs, and fullfiling this social need is crucial for their mental healths. A novel work schedule with less stress can both provide the much needed social setting, and help people with their finances. For example elders with no one around may find friends at work to hangout, and also use their expertise to earn some worthful bucks. In addition to that, retiring homes can be tedious and this is detrimental to the mental health of many. Without the suffice mental challenge, anyone can lose the sense of time and purpose. Working can absolutely fill this gap of purpose (by providing the stress and aim to the daily life) and hence aid the boringness of retirement. Working elders will stay productive for longer, also increasing the happiness. With the increasing ages of average workers, staying in work-force for longer helps with social and mental ability of elders.
With their extended lifespan,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to work for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
ages.

In this essay, I will give my view of how working for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
age can be beneficial, as it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and their finances.
Also
, I will mention how boring can a retirement become after certain stay-at-home time which may be hurtful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
of all age require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
needs, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfiling
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
need is crucial for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
Possible spelling mistake found.
healths
. A novel work schedule with less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
can both provide the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
setting, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with their finances.
For example
elders with no one around may find friends at work
The verb 'hang out' is spelled as two words. The noun 'hangout' is spelled as one.
to hangout
, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their expertise to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
worthful
bucks.

In addition
to that, retiring homes can be tedious and this is detrimental to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
health of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. Without
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'suffice' is correct. If 'suffice' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the suffice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
challenge, anyone can lose the sense of time and purpose. Working can
absolutely
The usual prepositions to use after "fill" is 'with' not "this" Did you mean "fill this gap with"?
fill this gap of
purpose (by providing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and aim to the daily life) and
hence
aid the
Possible spelling mistake found.
boringness
of retirement. Working elders will stay productive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
,
also
increasing the happiness.

With the increasing ages of average workers, staying in work-force for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
ability of elders.
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IELTS essay People are now living much longer lives than before and many fell we should all remain in workforce for longer.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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