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The instances of part time jobs have rapidly increased in recent times. Some say that it provides students with valuable experience while others say that it derails the students from studies." To what extent do you agree to this statement?

The instances of part time jobs have rapidly increased in recent times. Some say that it provides students with valuable experience while others say that it derails the students from studies. " dpYBd
It is a common trend for students to work part time these days. I strongly agree with the idea that part time jobs provide these students with experience that benefits them in future as they learn practical skills from an early age. Firstly, students gain a lot of practical skills by working part time. As they work, they learn how to take responsibility, and they are forced to interact with all kinds of people in the workplace. Therefore, these students develop good social skills and learn how to navigate through professional situations. Moreover, the experience students gain from working part time adds a lot of value to their CVs. Due to this, they can impress their employers when they take up full time work after finishing their studies, and even negotiate for a better starting salary. Finally, working part time also teaches students to handle their finances from an early age. The money they earn can be saved or be used to buy what they need. This teaches them how to be more independent, and it also shows them the value of hard earned money. To conclude, part time jobs prepare students for real life challenges by teaching them important practical skills; hence, they provide them with valuable experience. Opinion Essay 1 Saturday, August 8, 2020 10: 53 AM Classroom Samples
It is a common trend for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
these days. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
jobs provide these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with experience that benefits them in future as they learn practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
from an early age.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
by working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. As they work, they learn how to take responsibility, and they
are forced
to interact with all kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the workplace.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
develop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and learn how to navigate through professional situations.

Moreover
, the experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain from working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
value to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
CVs
. Due to this, they can impress their employers when they take up full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
work after finishing their studies, and even negotiate for a better starting salary.

Finally
, working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
also
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to handle their finances from an early age. The money they earn can
be saved
or be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what they need. This teaches them how to be more independent, and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
them the value of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hard earned
money.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
jobs prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for real life challenges by teaching them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
;
hence
, they provide them with valuable experience.

Opinion Essay 1

Saturday, August 8, 2020

10: 53 AM

Classroom Samples
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IELTS essay The instances of part time jobs have rapidly increased in recent times. Some say that it provides students with valuable experience while others say that it derails the students from studies. "

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
220 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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