Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to encourage people to drink less?

People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to encourage people to drink less? Oy06G
In the advanced pace world, The consumption of sugar-based drinks increased by the people popular stratum of the society tends to believe that there are several causes of soft drinks, and government should take some steps to overcome this problem. I would like to confer it at length in the upcoming paragraph. Commencing with prominent reason why individual prefer to drink beverages. First and the foremost, consumer buy these items by seeing their attractive advertisements and promotions. Similarly, Drink manufacturers promote their product from re-on the personalities so, youngsters are attracted to words and healthy drinking items. Four example, Salman Khan is promoting a sugar-based drink called coca-cola many of their followers purchase product by watching him. Although it affect the health of the community
In the advanced pace world, The consumption of sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
increased by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
popular stratum of the society tends to believe that there are several causes of soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to overcome this problem. I would like to confer it at length in the upcoming paragraph.

Commencing with prominent reason why individual prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
beverages.
First
and the foremost, consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these items by seeing their attractive advertisements and promotions.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drink
manufacturers promote their product from re-on the personalities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, youngsters
are attracted
to words and healthy drinking items. Four example, Salman Khan is promoting a sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
called coca-cola
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of their followers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
product by watching him.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
it
Did you mean "affects"?
affect
the health of the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
community

IELTS essay People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to encourage people to drink less?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to encourage people to drink less?