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People are having more and more soft drinks. What are the reasons and how to make people less drink

People are having more and more soft drinks. What are the reasons and how to make people less drink G3BJQ
Perhaps, there is no topic of controversy in this contemporary society worth debating as the matter of public health. Indeed, people's views differ greatly as whether sugar-based drinks account for a considerable part in food consumption in this day and age. To the best of my knowledge, various factors are claimed to be the causes. Yet, this phenomenon could be tackled by plausible solutions. To start with, there is no shadow of a doubt that the notion holds its comprehensible causes. In order words, an unprecedented consumption rate in soft drinks mainly comes from two reasons. First of all, these drinks contain a high amount of carbon hydrates and caffeine, which has a part to play in boosting up people's energy and mood. Furthermore, thanks to their convenience and affordable price sugar-based drink industry meets people's demand for maintaining high concentration. Second of all, there is an increasing number of soft drink advertisements and commercials broadcasted on a wide variety of TV channels. In simple words, these companies invest a lot of money in an attempt to promote their products widely. For instance, Pepsi has recently collaborated with Blackpink in a drink campaign, which draws impressive attention to not only Blackpink fans but also young adults in their newest drink. As a result, there are numerous solutions of magnitude generated to solve the issues. To be clear, it is widely be lived that imposing heavy taxes on sugar-based drink industry might play a vital role in minimizing its production. In addition, the government should heighten consumers' alertness of the detrimental effects that these products adversely impact on health issues. Last but not least, more education campaign about healthy lifestyle is considered to make a significant contribution to public awareness. In summary, several reasons are stated out to explain why the soft drink consumption rate is increasing dramatically in this modern era, which in turn could be effectually tackled by efficient solutions.
Perhaps, there is no topic of controversy in this contemporary society worth debating as the matter of public health.
Indeed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's views differ
greatly
as whether sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
account for a considerable part in food consumption in this day and age. To the best of my knowledge, various factors
are claimed
to be the causes.
Yet
, this

phenomenon could
be tackled
by plausible solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there is no shadow of a doubt that the notion holds its

comprehensible causes. In order words, an unprecedented consumption rate in soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
mainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from two reasons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
contain a high amount of carbon hydrates and caffeine, which has a part to play in boosting up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's energy and mood.
Furthermore
, thanks to their convenience and affordable price sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
industry meets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's demand for maintaining high concentration. Second of all, there is an increasing number of soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
advertisements and commercials broadcasted on a wide variety of TV channels. In simple words, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money in an attempt to promote their products
widely
.
For instance
, Pepsi has recently collaborated with
Possible spelling mistake found.
Blackpink
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
campaign, which draws impressive attention to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
Blackpink
fans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
young adults in their newest drink.

As a result
, there are numerous solutions of magnitude generated to solve the issues. To be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, it is
widely
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
that imposing heavy taxes on sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
industry might play a vital role in minimizing its production.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should heighten consumers'

alertness of the detrimental effects that these products
adversely
impact on health issues. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, more education campaign about healthy lifestyle
is considered
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
contribution


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
public awareness.

In summary, several reasons
are stated
out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why the soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
consumption rate is increasing
dramatically
in this modern era, which in turn could be
effectually
tackled by efficient solutions.
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IELTS essay People are having more and more soft drinks. What are the reasons and how to make people less drink

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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