Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People are facing the dilemma of whether education or incarceration is a superior avenue when it comes to combating offences. Recently, this phenomenon has been brought to public attention with people standing on two different sides. Even though it can be stated that incarceration has the ability to rigorously train offenders, I would argue that education is way greater and more benevolent.

People are facing the dilemma of whether education or incarceration is a superior avenue when it comes to combating offences. Recently, this phenomenon has been brought to public attention with people standing on two different sides. Even though it can be stated that incarceration has the ability to rigorously train offenders, I would argue that education is way greater and more benevolent. brVEq
People are facing the dilemma of whether education or incarceration is a superior avenue when it comes to combating offences. Recently, this phenomenon has been brought to public attention with people standing on two different sides. Even though it can be stated that incarceration has the ability to rigorously train offenders, I would argue that education is way greater and more benevolent. On one side of the argument, there are many who claim that prison conveys a strong message to would-be criminals. To begin with, incarceration is representative of the legal deterrent. This means that when someone desires to undertake unlawful, he or she will see a jail as a place where they would face punishments that cause them bodily and emotional agony. Another reason is that prisons keep the community safe from further harm. By virtue of the fact that it demonstrates justice, restoring equality to the citizens is a top priority obligation. As a result, prisons have helped minimize the number of victims. However, I would be inclined to argue against this as I believed that education can raise people’s awareness of the consequences of offences and regulations. First of all, education is now the government's primary focus. This might be explained by the fact that a person can be imparted good knowledge what about the active and proper in life, they will steady work and open career prospects. On the contrary, if they lack fundamental education, they will disrupt social security and become criminals. A further rationale is that education helps tackle the root of crimes. Under certain assumptions, this can be construed as prisoners before being released from jail should receive thorough training, not reluctantly take advice from the authorities. And reformed offenders will change their minds. The obvious conclusion to be drawn is that education penetrates deeply into people’s minds to help them be aware of their behaviour. And help to deter teenagers from committing crimes today.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are facing the dilemma of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or incarceration is a superior avenue when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to combating
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
. Recently, this phenomenon has
been brought
to public attention with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
standing on two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sides.
Even though
it can
be stated
that incarceration has the ability to
rigorously
train offenders, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is way greater and more benevolent.

On one side of the argument, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who claim that prison conveys a strong message to would-be criminals. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, incarceration is representative of the legal deterrent. This means that when someone desires to undertake unlawful, he or she will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a jail as a place where they would face punishments that cause them
bodily
and emotional agony. Another reason is that prisons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the community safe from
further
harm. By virtue of the fact that it demonstrates justice, restoring equality to the citizens is a top priority obligation.
As a result
, prisons have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
minimize the number of victims.

However
, I would
be inclined
to argue against this as I believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness of the consequences of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
and regulations.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's primary focus. This might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that a person can
be imparted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
knowledge what about the active and proper in life, they will steady work and open career prospects.
On the contrary
, if they lack fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they will disrupt social security and become criminals. A
further
rationale is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
tackle the root of crimes. Under certain assumptions, this can
be construed
as prisoners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being released
from jail should receive thorough training, not
reluctantly
take advice from the authorities. And reformed offenders will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their minds.

The obvious conclusion to
be drawn
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
penetrates
deeply
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
minds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them be aware of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to deter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
from committing crimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay People are facing the dilemma of whether education or incarceration is a superior avenue when it comes to combating offences. Recently, this phenomenon has been brought to public attention with people standing on two different sides. Even though it can be stated that incarceration has the ability to rigorously train offenders, I would argue that education is way greater and more benevolent.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts