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People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption? rEy2
Although people know the side effects of sugar but they drink a lot everyday. Government should put tax on this sugar drinks so they will increase used of sugar. Most of people consumed a huge number of sugar even if they know that it is unhealthy. When government add tax to it people will think after drinks more than one. Soda drinks also it has side effects at their body but we still used a lot everyday. Now days, we see many people have health problem because of their life style. It cause also diabetes which have not a medical. Although people with diabetes must avoid sugar but they try to have one spoon or two everyday. Which cause them many problems and start going to the hospital to have the normal sugar at their blood. For instant, some youth drink one soda with every meal so, they have health problem at their bones and teeth. Moreover the diseases cases by it at the pressure, Heart, and overweight When government add tax at sugar. People will think twice before bought and drink it. With this tax they can build hospital do renovation at the roads. They also, learn the kids while they are at school the perfect usage of sugar at their life. Everyone need a specific number of sugar but not a plethora. Patents must have the knowledge to avoid kids drinks this unhealthy drinks. Instead of this drinks, they can have fresh juice with snacks. When they get older it will be lifestyle. The honey is healthy and perfect than sugar. Now days few people start using it at their coffee and tea instead of sugar because they knew the side effects of it. Ministre of health must do an event to courage people use the alternatives at school, college, and companies. IN addition, Countries also, cooperate together to makes people utilized the alternatives To conclude, Sugar is catastrophe to our body and we still using it everyday. We must stop utilize it to have less diseases and good body without any fat problems.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know the side effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
a lot
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
of sugar.

Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consumed a huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
even if they know that it is unhealthy. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
to it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
more than one. Soda
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
also
it has side effects at their body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a lot
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
days, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their life style. It
Did you mean "causes"?
cause
also
diabetes which have not a medical. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with diabetes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they try to have one spoon or two
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. Which cause them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
going to the hospital to have the normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
at their blood. For instant,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
one soda with every meal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they have health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
at their bones and teeth.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the diseases cases by it at the pressure, Heart, and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
overweight


“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
it. With this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
they can build hospital do renovation at the roads. They
also
, learn the kids while they are at school the perfect usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
at their life. Everyone need a specific number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not a plethora. Patents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have the knowledge to avoid kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
this unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
.
Instead
of
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
, they can have fresh juice with snacks.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older it will be lifestyle. The honey is healthy and
Use "perfecter" to make a comparison with this adjective.
perfect
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
days few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using it at their coffee and tea
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they knew the side effects of it.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ministre
of health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
to courage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the alternatives at school, college, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
IN addition
, Countries
also
, cooperate together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
utilized the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
alternatives


To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sugar
is catastrophe to our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
body and
we
still
using it
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
utilize it to have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun diseases is countable.
less
diseases and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
body without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
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IELTS essay People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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