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People Are Becoming Too Dependent on the Phone and Internet, is it a Positive or a Negative Development?

People Are Becoming Too Dependent on the Phone and Internet, is it a Positive or a Negative Development? p1983
Technology has changed the way we live. From communication, to accomplishing daily tasks and even when it comes to education and learning. With just a click of a button, we can do various tasks all at once and have access to valuable information all over the world. We can pay bills, shop groceries, order deliveries, learn and develop new skills even without leaving the comforts of our home. We can reach out and call someone halfway across the globe while cooking and doing laundry and all at once. Technology made our lives easier and provided a more convenient way of living.
Technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. From communication, to accomplishing daily tasks and even when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to education and learning. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click of a button, we can do various tasks all at once and have access to valuable information all over the world.

We can pay bills, shop groceries, order deliveries, learn and develop new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
even without leaving the comforts of our home. We can reach out and call someone halfway across the globe while cooking and doing laundry and all at once. Technology made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier and provided a more convenient way of living.

IELTS essay People Are Becoming Too Dependent on the Phone and Internet, is it a Positive or a Negative Development?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
101 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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