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people aim to achieve balance between work and personal life

people aim to achieve balance between work and personal life 267OJ
In this fast paced world the lifestyle of people has become so haphazard that there is no distinction between their personal and professional life. Maintaining stability in ideal work is not an easy task and it is also impossible task. In this essay i will discuss reasons of this problem and who to overcome this. To embark on, there is a thin between personal and professional life nowadays people going to be materialistic everyone want luxurious life but they do not want to be workholic For example, house wife's they spent 18to20 houry of day to provide services to her family. furthermore, time management is another issue with them today person not know how to manage time as a result life going to be too complex, pending work lead to increase the work load. In present time individual are doing no schedule work and most of the time previous work doen by them on next day consequently work load increase and it detached the person from their families. In addition, solutions of this problem not simple as we know money is everything for person and also money is much necessary for happiness, a one cant live happy without money. however, flexibility in work is a solution of this problem and human resources management made such policy for the benefit of the workers. In government organisations authorities provide different types of facilities to their employees like paid leave, remuneration and this facility must be provided in private organisations labor and worker. In spite of this goal must be set by them and also time should be set to achieve the goal. To conclude, competition and material desires are the reasons why most people fail to achieve work-life balance. In order to address this problem, both governments and individuals should make effort.
In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world the lifestyle of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
haphazard that there is no distinction between their personal and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Maintaining stability in ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is not an easy task and it is
also
impossible task. In this essay
Did you mean "I"?
i
will discuss reasons of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and who to overcome this.

To embark on, there is a thin between personal and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going to be materialistic everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not want to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
workholic
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
wife's they spent 18to20
Possible spelling mistake found.
houry
of day to provide services to her family.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management is another issue with them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
person not know how to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
going to be too complex, pending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
lead to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
load. In present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
individual are doing no schedule
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible spelling mistake found.
doen
by them on
next
day
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
load increase and it detached the person from their families.

In addition
, solutions of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
not simple as we know money is everything for person and
also
money is much necessary for happiness, a one cant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happy without money.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, flexibility in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is a solution of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and human resources management made such policy for the benefit of the workers. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
authorities provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of facilities to their employees like paid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
, remuneration and this facility
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
in private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
labor and worker.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
this goal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be set
by them and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
be set
to achieve the goal.

To conclude
, competition and material desires are the reasons why most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fail to achieve work-life balance. In order to address this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
effort.
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IELTS essay people aim to achieve balance between work and personal life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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