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Peole are encouraged get rid out thing in order to ge newest fashion technolgy. DO you have advantage of outweigh disadvantages?

Peole are encouraged get rid out thing in order to ge newest fashion technolgy. DO you have advantage of outweigh disadvantages? j9gwX
Technology plays a vital role in nations development. However, the citizens are motivated to get rid of stuffs to obtain the latest fashion and technology. Here, I will explain the merits of fashion and technology in further paragraphs. To begin with, there is an abundance reasons behind why the latest fashions have more advantages. The prime one is to provide them excellent knowledge of new outfits and quality of clothes. To elaborate, nowadays fashion is more popular among the youth and they are following them blindly. It can help them to make more lucrative and handsome while they wore the latest trend outfits. Hence, increasing trend of fashion which can help to boost economy and making good revenue from selling and promoting fashion. For example, The Times of India reveals that the trend of fashion has been augmenting compared to the last decade. It can aid to small countries people who have been relying life on the clothing manufacturing business. Furthermore, there is a plethora of reason behind why the latest technology has excessive benefits. At present, technology is basic pillar of every sector because it is making less physical work. Additionally, during the lockdown period, students are doing online study from their homes which is the greatest gift by technology. Consequently, technology will play a crucial role in every field such as pharmaceuticals industries, nuclear weapons, educations, and medieval fields, etc. For instance, The New York Magazine exposes that Japan is hub of technology, and they have been doing online works in some sectors like educations, banks, and IT and E-commerce, etc. On the other hand, there is also having some the demerits of the latest fashion and technology. People are never think twice before following the fashion and spend unnecessary money and buy branded fashion for show off. In contrast, technology is also harmful them because it has made the chance to make less manpower due to this reason the rate of unemployment is increasing day by day in this world. For exemplify, more than 50 percent youth spoiled their money when they are spent in fashion. To conclude, every circumstance has two sides, but it has depended on a person's tendency and capability how they used it. I recommended the government should more invest money in fashion and technology, as a result, it will indirectly make an outstanding profit and will assist to regions in improve economic rates.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
plays a vital role in nations development.
However
, the citizens
are motivated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of stuffs to obtain the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Here, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in
further
paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is an abundance reasons behind why the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashions
have more advantages. The prime one is to provide them excellent knowledge of new outfits and quality of clothes. To elaborate, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
is more popular among the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youth and
they are following them
blindly
. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more lucrative and handsome while they wore the latest trend outfits.
Hence
, increasing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to boost economy and making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
revenue from selling and promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
.
For example
, The Times of India reveals that the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
has been augmenting compared to the last decade. It can aid to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have been relying life on the clothing manufacturing business.

Furthermore
, there is a plethora of reason behind why the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has excessive benefits. At present,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is basic pillar of every sector
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is making less physical work.
Additionally
, during the lockdown period, students are doing online study from their homes which is the greatest gift by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will play a crucial role in every field such as pharmaceuticals industries, nuclear weapons, educations, and medieval fields, etc.
For instance
, The New York Magazine exposes that Japan is hub of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, and they have been doing online works in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sectors like educations, banks, and IT and E-commerce, etc.

On the other hand
, there is
also
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
the demerits of the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
and spend unnecessary money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
also
harmful them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has made the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
less manpower due to this reason the rate of unemployment is increasing day by day in this world. For exemplify, more than 50 percent youth spoiled their money when they
are spent
in fashion.

To conclude
, every circumstance has two sides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has depended on a person's tendency and capability how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it. I recommended the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should more invest money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fashion
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
as a result
, it will
indirectly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an outstanding profit and will assist to regions in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
economic rates.
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IELTS essay Peole are encouraged get rid out thing in order to ge newest fashion technolgy. DO you have advantage of outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
401 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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