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peer pressure good or bad

peer pressure good or bad BgGXw
Young children are vulnerable, so they get effected by the people from their surroundings. I personally believe their behavior is greatly influenced by their peers which has more advantages than drawbacks. Firstly, peer pressure causes a sense of competition among children that helps in achieving success in life. When children see their classmates and friends endeavoring success in their life, they envy from them. This results positively when they try to imitate their habits to achieve the same success. For example, the world-famous athlete accepted that he joined sports because his friend was performing profoundly in sports. Secondly, children get motivation from their friends. This motivation encourages them to study well and perform good in academics. Many children learn the new lessons from their friends because they understand them well. The amiable learning between friends is beneficial and long lasting. For instance, a survey state that most children prefer to learn from a friend than the teacher because their friend encourages them. Nonetheless, many peers influence their friends to imbibe bad habits. Because they need company, they share the positive sides of drugs, alcohol. Some children often squander money just to boast their lifestyle in their friends. This becomes issue for those children who cannot afford this. For example, many girls demand their parents to buy new clothes because their friends bought some branded attires. To recapitulate, I believe the effects of peer pressure is inevitable. I find there are more advantages than disadvantages as it brings a sense of competition and encouragement among children.
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are vulnerable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
effected by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from their surroundings. I
personally
believe their behavior is
greatly
influenced by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
which has more advantages than drawbacks.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
pressure causes a sense of competition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in achieving success in life. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their classmates and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
endeavoring success in their life, they envy from them. This results
positively
when they try to imitate their habits to achieve the same success.
For example
, the world-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
athlete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
was performing
profoundly
in sports.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivation from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. This motivation encourages them to study well and perform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in academics.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn the new lessons from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they understand them well. The amiable learning between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is beneficial and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
.
For instance
, a survey state that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prefer to learn from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
than the teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
encourages them.

Nonetheless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peers
influence their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
to imbibe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, they share the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of drugs, alcohol.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
squander money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to boast their lifestyle in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. This becomes issue for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who cannot afford this.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
girls demand their parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
branded attires.

To recapitulate, I believe the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
pressure is inevitable. I find there are more advantages than disadvantages as it brings a sense of competition and encouragement among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay peer pressure good or bad

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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