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Parents are spending less time with their children so they often give televisions and computers games to their children for making them quite. What are effects of these things on children in such cases?

Parents are spending less time with their children so they often give televisions and computers games to their children for making them quite. What are effects of these things on children in such cases? KybpN
Children-parents interpersonal relationship is undeniably pivotal for any child’s growth. However, nowadays parents opt to maintain distance from their responsibilities by diverting their off spring’s mind with televisions and gadgets so they remain busy and do not hamper them. Consequences of this initiation will be elicitrated in subsequences paragraphs. To commence with, modern technology equipments will become root cause of some hazardous behavioral problems. For better explanations of this, when parents stop spending time with their toddlers and introduce them with video games, television shows as for their leisure activities, eventually they might get addicted to it. If in case child cannot access it for while they may cultivate fluctuations in their nature: screaming, unnecessary crying. A research in child psychology department stated that excessive utilization of time on gaming and entertainments develop peculiar emotional changes in them. Moreover, it is plausible reason for youngster’s unacceptable decisions. To elucidate it, in order to gain extra money caregivers trying to escape from children either by TV or game that is the base of lacking in repo. This absent of communication will be end in so called “Generation Gap” in forthcoming years. In this situation children will nature without shelter of their family, this deficiency in guidance makes child to vulnerable to mistakes. Furthermore, even if elders try to correct them they feel disrespectful rather than showing gratitude. After contemplation on teenager’s behavior psychologist concluded that those child whom did not receive care from parents or isolated by games having deprive decision making ability compare to other. To conclude, aforementioned diverting children by shows and games so, they do not create chaos may affect their behavior and capacity of decision making.
Children-parents interpersonal relationship is
undeniably
pivotal for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
growth.
However
, nowadays parents opt to maintain distance from their responsibilities by diverting their off spring’s mind with televisions and gadgets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they remain busy and do not hamper them. Consequences of this initiation will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
elicitrated
in subsequences paragraphs.

To commence with, modern technology equipments will become root cause of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hazardous behavioral problems. For better explanations of this, when parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
spending time with their toddlers and introduce them with video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
as for their leisure activities,
eventually
they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to it. If in case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
cannot access it for while they may cultivate fluctuations in their nature: screaming, unnecessary crying.
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
A research
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
psychology department stated that excessive utilization of time on gaming and entertainments develop peculiar emotional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in them.

Moreover
, it is plausible reason for youngster’s unacceptable decisions. To elucidate it, in order to gain extra money caregivers trying to escape from children either by TV or game
that is
the base of lacking in repo. This absent of communication will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
called “Generation Gap” in forthcoming years. In this situation children will nature without shelter of their family, this deficiency in guidance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Did you mean "too vulnerable to"?
to vulnerable to
mistakes.
Furthermore
, even if elders try to correct them they feel disrespectful
rather
than showing gratitude. After contemplation on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
’s behavior psychologist concluded that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
whom did not receive care from parents or isolated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
having deprive
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
ability compare to other.

To conclude
, aforementioned diverting children by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they do not create chaos may affect their behavior and capacity of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
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IELTS essay Parents are spending less time with their children so they often give televisions and computers games to their children for making them quite. What are effects of these things on children in such cases?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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