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Peer influence in the behaviour and Youngesters . Do disadvantages more than advantages

Peer influence in the behaviour and Youngesters. Do disadvantages more than advantages m9DrN
Peer group pressure is a serious concern among the youngsters. However, if a glance is taken at pros and cons of this aspect, it is irrefutable to say that, there are alot of disadvantages of peer pressure and I perceive that it should be considered as negtive development of attitude and behaviour of young one's. This essay will not only discuss the merits and demerits but also give relevant example in upcoming paragraph. To begin, there are myraid disdvantages of peer pressure, first and foremost is that sometimes youngesters become victim of stress and depression. To elaborate it, when youngsters cannot acheive their goals in sports and acadamics, then they get into stress and depression and become agressive and rude. For example, 40% of stress level escalated due to peer pressure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Peer
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
is a serious concern among the youngsters.
However
, if a glance
is taken
at pros and cons of this aspect, it is irrefutable to say that, there
Possible spelling mistake found.
are alot
of disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
and I perceive that it should
be considered
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
negtive
development of attitude and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of young one's. This essay will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
discuss the merits and demerits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give relevant example in upcoming paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
myraid
Possible spelling mistake found.
disdvantages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
,
first
and foremost is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngesters
become victim of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression. To elaborate it, when youngsters cannot
Possible spelling mistake found.
acheive
their goals in sports and
Possible spelling mistake found.
acadamics
, then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression and become
Possible spelling mistake found.
agressive
and rude.
For example
, 40% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level escalated due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
.
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IELTS essay Peer influence in the behaviour and Youngesters. Do disadvantages more than advantages

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
131 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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