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Participating in extracurricular activities plays an important role in students' life. Write a paragraph of 250 words about the benefits of extracurricular activities.

Participating in extracurricular activities plays an important role in students' life. Write a paragraph of 250 words about the benefits of extracurricular activities. kxBrO
These days, participating in extracurricular activities becomes a crucial part of students from high school and college. Some people suggest that this thing is unnecessary and can hamper the student’s studies. However; there are numerous benefits, for example; bringing out their inner talent, going beyond their safe zone, and keeping them more active. . . The below essay will clarify the reason why extracurricular activities play an important part in a student’s life. On the one hand, it helps students achieve physical fitness. It is beneficial that the pupil gets involved in sports at an early age as it helps in improving their health more flexible and healthier. Daily involvement in various activities also increases immunity, consequently, one can reduce the chance of getting infected. Besides, instead of sitting at home and doing homework for hours, it will be better if students combined it with enjoying extracurricular activities after that. Due to this fact, students can make friends with people with different interests and expand relationships. Moreover, people, especially the juvenile, suffer from loneliness every now and then, attending it as a proper medicine that helps them become more active and open-minded with everyone around. On the other hand, participating in a number of activities will help students develop both physically and mentally. Such activities may improve the social skills of a student. For instance; leadership and creativity, which are virtual skills that practically college needs. Therefore, students are fully capable of having higher opportunities and achieving superior performance if they have these skills. That’s why numerous students from high school and college manage their time for both studying and attending extracurricular activities. In conclusion, I completely agree with this notion and it is very necessary for everyone to keep extracurricular to be part of the academic routine for a better life. Besides, parents should encourage their children to enjoy life instead of only forcing them to study well.
These days, participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
becomes a crucial part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from high school and college.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that this thing is unnecessary and can hamper the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
studies.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
; there are numerous benefits,
for example
; bringing out their inner talent, going beyond their safe zone, and keeping them more active.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
The below essay will clarify the reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
life.

On the one hand, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
achieve physical fitness. It is beneficial that the pupil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
involved in sports at an early age as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in improving their health more flexible and healthier. Daily involvement in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
also
increases immunity,
consequently
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the chance of getting infected.
Besides
,
instead
of sitting at home and doing homework for hours, it will be better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
combined it with enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
after that. Due to this fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
interests and expand relationships.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
the juvenile, suffer from loneliness every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then, attending it as a proper medicine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them become more active and open-minded with everyone around.

On the other hand
, participating in a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
develop both
physically
and mentally. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
For instance
; leadership and creativity, which are virtual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that
practically
college needs.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
fully
capable of having higher opportunities and achieving superior performance if they have these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. That’s why numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from high school and college manage their time for both studying and attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
activities.

In conclusion
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary for everyone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
to be part of the academic routine for a better life.
Besides
, parents should encourage their children to enjoy life
instead
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
forcing them to study well.
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IELTS essay Participating in extracurricular activities plays an important role in students' life. Write a paragraph of 250 words about the benefits of extracurricular activities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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