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Men build a house and women make it the home

Men build a house and women make it the home O6N0y
Nowadays, many people still believe in the sayings “Men build a house and women make it the home”. But in my opinion, I disagree with this idea for some reasons. Firstly, we need to have gender equality. “Men build a house” is true in the past. Because in that period, women couldn’t go to wor¬¬¬k, they had just cooked, cleaned and took care of their children. However, the world is changing. Women can go to work, earn money and hang out. So, women can “build a house”, too. Secondly, I think household chores should be divided because both men and women go to work all day. And chore equity is very important for them to build a happy family. Thirdly, when the role of men and women is the same as in their family, they will feel comfortable and marital satisfaction. In short, I don’t agree with this idea, and I assume that this notion is so old, and that we ought to change our minds.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
believe in the sayings “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it the home”.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my opinion, I disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Firstly
, we need to have gender equality. “
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
” is true in the past.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in that period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
couldn’t go to
Possible spelling mistake found.
wor¬¬¬k
, they had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
cooked, cleaned and took care of their children.
However
, the world is changing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
can go to work, earn money and hang out.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“build
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
”, too.
Secondly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
household chores should
be divided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
go to work all day. And chore equity is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
build
a happy family.
Thirdly
, when the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
is the same as in their family, they will feel comfortable and marital satisfaction. In short, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, and I assume that this notion is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, and that we ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our minds.
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IELTS essay Men build a house and women make it the home

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
166 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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