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Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past. v.1

Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past. v. 1
These days due to increasing the pace of world, parents have to struggle with several kinds of problems in their daily routines. They do not have enough time to pay attention to the children because of concentrating on their jobs. So in my opinion in the past, parents were more involved in their kid’s education than are parents in present. In the past few decades, although children were limited under certain circumstances to continue their education and only a small amount of children would be able to persuade their academic life, parents had enough time to devote on considering children’s improvement in their homework. illiteracy parents also tried to encourage their children to do their homework well in order to be successful person in her or his future life. While today, parents do not have information about the situation of their children at the school and they be assured that advanced technologies help children to do their assignments well. In addition, nowadays, parents are under tremendous pressure to make a living for the family members and they cannot follow the pattern of children’s education carefully. Due to inflation rate and economical problems, parents have to live under stressful situation and they will wait to be fired from their workplaces. Their financial problems do not allow them to be aware about what their children learned at schools or university. In some cases that parents have financial problems, taking children’s education into account is not important point in comparison with other noticeable points that they have. While in the past, parents had less financial problems and they lived at the peaceful situations without being worried about their jobs. Therefore, considering the kid’s education was one of the main points that they paid attention. It can not be overlooked that developing technologies like internet, computers, and distance learning also play important role to away parents’ attention from children’s education. Parents are assured that these kinds of technologies can be replaced with their responsibilities. For example, parents buy a smart phone for children to follow their classes from long distance in the journey without attention to bad consequences of this method. Parents think that using these technologies guarantees the education life of their children so they feel free and let these equipments occupy their positions at the child' s life. However, in the past, parents had to take the level of children’s education into account due to lack of advanced equipments to monitor them. They enforced their kids to do their assignments and gave them rewards when children got success. In conclusion, based on the reasons that I mentioned above, I personally believe that parents in the past devoted most of their time for their while involved more in their educations. In contrast, today' s financial problems and psychological diseases of parents because of stressful situations cause to a significant gap between parents and children.
These days due to increasing the pace of world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle with several kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in their daily routines. They do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to pay attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of concentrating on their jobs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in my opinion in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were more involved in their kid’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in present.

In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
few decades, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were limited
under certain circumstances to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would be able to persuade their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to devote on considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
improvement in their homework.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
tried to encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do their homework well in order to be successful person in her or his future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. While
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not have information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
they
be assured
that advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do their assignments well.

In addition
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are under tremendous pressure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living for the family
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
members and
they cannot follow the pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
carefully
. Due to inflation rate and
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under stressful
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
situation and
they will wait to
be fired
from their workplaces. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to be aware about what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learned at schools or university. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
into account is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point
in comparison
with other noticeable points that they have. While in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
had less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problems and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
at the peaceful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
without
being worried
about their jobs.
Therefore
, considering the kid’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was one of the main points that they paid attention.

It can not
be overlooked
that developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
like internet, computers, and distance learning
also
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to away
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
attention from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are assured
that these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
can
be replaced
with their responsibilities.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a smart phone for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to follow their classes from long distance in the journey without attention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences of this method.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that using these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
guarantees the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they feel free and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
these equipments occupy their positions at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
had to take the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
into account due to lack of advanced equipments to monitor them. They enforced their kids to do their assignments and gave them rewards when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
success.

In conclusion
, based on the reasons that I mentioned above, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
devoted most of their time for their while involved more in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
.
In contrast
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and psychological diseases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of stressful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
cause to a significant gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
70Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Parents today are more involved in their children’s education than were parents in the past. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
481 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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