Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

parents should spend more time with children doing what? sports and games or academic activities.

parents should spend more time with children doing what? sports and games or academic activities. K3On0
In modern society, due to a hectic schedule, the vast majority of children are facing difficulties. For this reason, several parents endeavor to discover solutions for this issue. Although several options are provided, I strongly believe that parents should spend their time playing games or sports for several reasons. I will delineate my thoughts in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, parents playing games with children can alleviate the stress they attain from their academic activities. Whereas the majority consider playing games inappropriate for children, I am a firm believer that playing games has positive aspects as it has negative effects on children. One of the positive aspects of playing games is that without the stress, children will display better academic performance. My own experience is a compelling demonstration to illustrate my point. When I was a child, I got so much stress from completing my daily assignments. Since I looked so exhausted, my dad suggested playing computer games with him. Through this opportunity, I disposed of all the stress because playing games with my dad was a special event was very fun. While I was playing games with my dad, I unexpectedly forgot all the pressure of homework provided by a rigorous teacher named Ding. In addition, without my dad's effort, I would not have received good grades. On top of that, playing sports with parents is very beneficial in assorted ways. First, sports activities with parents will alleviate children's stress similar to playing games with parents. Second, Athletics will promote the health of both parents and children. My friend's child experience is the epitome to elaborate my opinion. His parents were very anxious about his obesity and endeavor to find a solution to solve the problem. Since his dad was a coach of the Korean national basketball team, his dad frequently played basketball with his father. As a result, he gradually lost weight and succeeded in going on a diet. He eventually became healthy.
In modern society, due to a hectic schedule, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are facing difficulties.
For this reason
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
endeavor to discover solutions for this issue. Although several options
are provided
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should spend their time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or sports for several reasons. I will delineate my thoughts in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can alleviate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
they attain from their academic activities. Whereas the majority consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
inappropriate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I am a firm believer that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects as it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is that without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will display better academic performance. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is a compelling demonstration to illustrate my point. When I was a child, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
from completing my daily assignments. Since I looked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
exhausted, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
suggested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with him. Through this opportunity, I disposed of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
was a special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fun. While I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
, I
unexpectedly
forgot all the pressure of homework provided by a rigorous teacher named Ding.
In addition
, without my dad's effort, I would not have received
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades.

On top of that
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
sports with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial in assorted ways.
First
, sports activities with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will alleviate children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Second, Athletics will promote the health of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. My friend's child experience is the epitome to elaborate my opinion. His
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
anxious about his obesity and endeavor to find a solution to solve the problem. Since his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
was a coach of the Korean national basketball team, his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
frequently
played basketball with his father.
As a result
, he
gradually
lost weight and succeeded in going on a diet. He
eventually
became healthy.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay parents should spend more time with children doing what? sports and games or academic activities.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts