Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Parents should not pressure their children to choose a particular profession. Young people should have the freedom to choose a career path they like. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is widely accepted that youngsters should not be imposed by their parents on determining a particular career although some feel that children should give liberty for choosing field I, however, believe children should decide their field according to their interest. Firstly, young generation should select their own choice of field due to that they can build a bright future in their interesting field while, I acknowledge that parents have much of experience about the field hence they can properly guide their children however if children do not have interest in the field which suggests by their parents, they may not accomplish their study satisfactorily. Moreover, everyone knows their own interest and abilities better than anyone else so it is better to select field themselves as a result children can interestingly move further and can achieve their career goal. Second of all, if youth choose their field by own self they can learn quit interestingly and confidently as a result they can get their dream job and accomplish their all wishes. Many support that parents provide immense help to their children to get job in reputed company after completing their study whereas, I would argue that due to children’s talent, they will directly get work in recognize company with handsome salaries without any extra effort. To conclude, not only children succeed in the life to choose their interest area but also they will work enthusiastically and fulfil their all dream in their life. Therefore although I concede that parents is the key supporter to their children, I disagree that they may no need to support to their parents if children select their own interest of the field they always success.
It is
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that youngsters should not
be imposed
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
on determining a particular career although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should give liberty for choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
I,
however
, believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should decide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
according to their interest.

Firstly
, young generation should select their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
due to that they can build a bright future in their interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
while, I acknowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have much of experience about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
hence
they can
properly
guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
however
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
which suggests by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they may not accomplish their study
satisfactorily
.
Moreover
, everyone knows their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
and abilities better than anyone else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is better to select
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
themselves
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
interestingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
further
and can achieve their career goal.

Second of all, if youth choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
self they can learn quit
interestingly
and
confidently
as a result
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their dream job and accomplish their all wishes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
support that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
provide immense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job in reputed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
after completing their study whereas, I would argue that due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
talent, they will
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
work in recognize
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with handsome salaries without any extra effort.

To conclude
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
succeed in the life to choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they will work
enthusiastically
and fulfil their all dream in their life.
Therefore
although I concede that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is the key supporter to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I disagree that they may no need to support to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
select their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
they always success.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad
Show Comments
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Parents should pressure their children to choose the particular profession. Young people should have the freedom to choose a career path they like.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts