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“Parents should exercise authority over their children’s activities.”

“Parents should exercise authority over their children’s activities. ” 0npj5
It is a well-known fact that parents have a considerable influence upon their children until their children become responsible adolescents and teenagers seeking more freedom. In contrast to this acknowledged fact, some parents are determined regarding the fact that they won't diminish their power over children. However, even though extensive parental influence may protect them from being hurt, it is not an appropriate attempt to assist children's welfare. Firstly, when children are strictly protected by their parents, they are less likely to develop their own ideas to resolve the difficulties and problems which they encounter. In other words, owing to the fact that almost all children are essentially not cognizant of their environment, they ought to endeavour to weather their issues, such as a confrontation between them and their friends, in order to augment their awareness of the conditions in which they are. Subsequently, while growing up, children tremendously affected by their parents obsessed with preventing them from being damaged are likely to commence resenting their parents' approach toward themselves. Since children highly influenced by their parents are generally not able to consider in their own way, they mostly don't have creative or distinguishable ideas like their peers, which results in them feeling different from their friends. Consequently, they begin blaming their suppressed personality that causes them to be more passive on their parents. It is usually argued that exceedingly parental impact on children may assist parents and children to construct a closer and friendlier relationship. However, although parents appear to have an opportunity to form a more amiable connexion with their kids by intensifying their control, their repressive behaviours provoke numerous fights and conflict. To wit, as a consequence of parents' desire to build a strong bond with them through improving their influence rather than children's mental ability to solve their issues, children eventually feel excessively frustrated. In conclusion, even though that children require being allowed to make their decisions after a certain age is a consequential fact to recognize, some parents strongly advocate that children need their parents' vastly advanced control. Nonetheless, it is facile to observe that children can develop their capacity when they are permitted to contemplate on what to do by their own without any interference.
It is a well-known
fact
that
parents
have a considerable influence upon their
children
until their
children
become responsible adolescents and
teenagers
seeking more freedom.
In contrast
to this acknowledged
fact
,
some
parents
are determined
regarding the
fact
that they won't diminish their power over
children
.
However
,
even though
extensive parental influence may protect them from
being hurt
, it is not an appropriate attempt to assist children's welfare.

Firstly
, when
children
are
strictly
protected by their
parents
, they are less likely to develop their
own
ideas
to resolve the difficulties and problems which they encounter.
In other words
, owing to the
fact
that almost all
children
are
essentially
not cognizant of their environment, they ought to
endeavour
to weather their issues, such as a confrontation between them and their friends, in order to augment their awareness of the conditions in which they are.

Subsequently
, while growing up,
children
tremendously
affected
by their
parents
obsessed with preventing them from
being damaged
are likely to commence resenting their parents' approach toward themselves. Since
children
highly
influenced by their
parents
are
generally
not able to consider in their
own
way, they
mostly
don't have creative or distinguishable
ideas
like their peers, which results in them feeling
different
from their friends.
Consequently
, they
begin
blaming their suppressed personality that causes them to be more passive on their parents.

It is
usually
argued that
exceedingly
parental impact on
children
may assist
parents
and
children
to construct a closer and friendlier relationship.
However
, although
parents
appear to have an opportunity to form a more amiable
connexion
with their kids by intensifying their control, their repressive
behaviours
provoke numerous fights and conflict. To wit, as a consequence of parents' desire to build a strong bond with them through improving their influence
rather
than children's mental ability to solve their issues,
children
eventually
feel
excessively
frustrated.

In conclusion
,
even though
that
children
require being
allowed
to
make
their decisions after a certain age is a consequential
fact
to recognize,
some
parents
strongly
advocate that
children
need their parents'
vastly
advanced control. Nonetheless, it is facile to observe that
children
can develop their capacity when they
are permitted
to contemplate on what to do by their
own
without any interference.
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IELTS essay “Parents should exercise authority over their children’s activities. ”

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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