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Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.9

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. v. 9
Experts throughout the developing and developed word have debated whether computers benefit or harm our descendants. Alongside the arguments on both sides, the latest discoveries from the Hong Kong Family Committee has casted light on this question regarding its academic advantages and general change of interpersonal skills acquired by children under 12. This essay will discuss both views using these examples to demonstrate points. To begin with, the convenience offered by computers is intuitively perceived as the benefits for juniors. The central reason behind this is twofold, firstly children can gain access to various kinds of entertainment entailing musics, videos and games. Secondly, the accessibility to the Internet ameliorate the academic pressure. In fact, the majority of junior learners spend more time on analysis and comparison rather than searching books in library. Consistent with this line of thinking is that children would be more available to enjoy entertaining activities and exercises. Therefore, it is conclusively clear that computers pave the way for the personal development of children. Although there is a case for children to adopt a healthy lifestyle, the impact of computers cannot be overstated, in particular the problem of social isolation. This is largely because the games presented in computers are mostly additive, which then deter our children from leaving the computer screen and participating in social activities. For instance, an extensive study from the Committee established that the average level of their interpersonal skill weakened in recent decades. It must not be forgotten that although some children are not obsessed about video games, the pervasive use of emoji and misspelt words on instant messaging software stands in the way of language acquisition. Consequently, it is possible to state beyond doubt that the restriction of use of computer, to a considerable extent, could counteract these drawbacks. In conclusion, although the immediacy and convenience of information exchange facilitate the learning process of children, the overuse of computer in their formative years often cast detrimental effects that generally outweigh its upside. Having said that, given that more books are published online, it is predicted that the frequency of using computers by children will be increased in the foreseeable future.
Experts throughout the developing and developed word have debated whether computers benefit or harm our descendants. Alongside the arguments on both sides, the latest discoveries from the Hong Kong Family Committee has
casted
light on this question regarding its academic advantages and general
change
of interpersonal
skills
acquired by
children
under 12. This essay will discuss both views using these examples to demonstrate points.

To
begin
with, the convenience offered by computers is
intuitively
perceived as the benefits for juniors. The central reason behind this is twofold,
firstly
children
can gain access to various kinds of entertainment entailing musics, videos and games.
Secondly
, the accessibility to the Internet ameliorate the academic pressure. In fact, the majority of junior learners spend more time on analysis and comparison
rather
than searching books in library. Consistent with this line of thinking is that
children
would be more available to enjoy entertaining activities and exercises.
Therefore
, it is
conclusively
clear
that computers pave the way for the personal development of children.

Although there is a case for
children
to adopt a healthy lifestyle, the impact of computers cannot
be overstated
,
in particular
the problem of social isolation. This is
largely
because
the games presented in computers are
mostly
additive, which then deter our
children
from leaving the computer screen and participating in social activities.
For instance
, an extensive study from the Committee established that the average level of their interpersonal
skill
weakened in recent decades. It
must
not
be forgotten
that although
some
children
are not obsessed about video games, the pervasive
use
of emoji and
misspelt
words on instant messaging software stands in the way of language acquisition.
Consequently
, it is possible to state beyond doubt that the restriction of
use
of computer, to a considerable extent, could counteract these drawbacks.

In conclusion
, although the immediacy and convenience of information exchange facilitate the learning process of
children
, the overuse of computer in their formative years
often
cast detrimental effects that
generally
outweigh its upside. Having said that,
given
that more books
are published
online, it
is predicted
that the frequency of using computers by
children
will
be increased
in the foreseeable future.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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