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Parents often buy their children many toys. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children having a large number of toys? Use examples from your personal knowledge and experience.

Parents often buy their children many toys. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children having a large number of toys? Use examples from your personal knowledge and experience. Bo0p
Toys are not just playthings. They are the building blocks of our child’s future. Therefore, a number of toys are bought by the parents for their children. This essay will describe about the various benefits of toys with the problems created by having lots of toys in the subsequents paragraphs. To begin with, one of the major advantages of children toys is that, creativity is enhanced by playing with some sorts of toys. For example, small plastic bricks are used to build different shapes of houses and buildings. Moreover, in this workaholic era, almost every mother is working due to which they do not have so much time for their offsprings and so, the children of under 10 years of age can spend their time by playing with toys at home. On the other hand, these toys also creates some problems and soil pollution is the biggest one. As most of the toys are made of plastics which is a non-biodegradable material. In addition to it, some toys, those work on electric power, can be harmful for children and hence they should be avoided by the parents. Apart from it, sometimes, small toys are ingulf by the small kids which can lead to death also. To conclude, toys are considered as friends of kids because they help to mushroom the thinking power of them. However, numerous toys are hazardous for child as well as environment, and so they should not be used.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Toys
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
playthings. They are the building blocks of our child’s future.
Therefore
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by the parents for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
about the various benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
with the problems created by having lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
subsequents
paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the major advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
is that, creativity
is enhanced
by playing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
plastic bricks are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
shapes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and buildings.
Moreover
, in this workaholic era, almost every mother is working due to which they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much time for their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of under 10 years of age can spend their time by playing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
at home.

On the other hand
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
also
creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems and soil pollution is the biggest one.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are made
of plastics which is a non-biodegradable material.
In addition
to it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
, those work on electric power, can be harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
hence
they should
be avoided
by the parents. Apart from it,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
ingulf
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
kids which can lead to death
also
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are considered
as friends of kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to mushroom the thinking power of them.
However
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
are hazardous for child
as well
as environment, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
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IELTS essay Parents often buy their children many toys. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children having a large number of toys? Use examples from your personal knowledge and experience.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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