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currency notes have been replaced by the plastic money, and now it is all about online transaction. Discuss advantage and disadvantages of the online money transaction.

currency notes have been replaced by the plastic money, and now it is all about online transaction. Discuss advantage and disadvantages of the online money transaction. RMBk
Undoutedly, it has been observed that paper currency are disappearing among the people because more number of individuals are choosing to use electronic transaction rather than banknotes. Some people assert that disadvantages outweigh the advantages. I partially agree with that. Irrefutably, plastic money has plethora of benefits and security is one of them. To elaborate it, credit cards and debit cards are easy to carry at anywhere as compare to traditional notes. By chance if, someone theft your card so, without pincode it is nothing harmful. In addition to that these methods are not has detrimental impact on environment because there is no any requirement of paper so we can save the trees. While currency notes are drought of papers. Furthermore, government can easily finds the black money by keeping the history of people money trasfer. Eventually, person can gets discount or cashback. Obstensibly, online transaction is not imperative at all time. The prime reason is cyberfraud and hacking. Because of that, card owner some time gets trouble of big financial loss. Moreover, baby boomers and illiterate people find difficulties to use such kind of system and operate that requrement of internet connectivity is an inevitable. In conclusion, I firmly belive that plastic money if fruitful for all. However it has some drawbacks which can be alleviate by proper management and in future it will replace conventional currency.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Undoutedly
, it has
been observed
that paper currency are disappearing among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more number of individuals are choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronic transaction
rather
than banknotes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that disadvantages outweigh the advantages. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that.
Irrefutably
, plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has plethora of benefits and security is one of them. To elaborate it, credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
and debit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
are easy to carry at anywhere as compare to traditional notes. By chance if, someone theft your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, without
Possible spelling mistake found.
pincode
it is nothing harmful.
In addition
to that these methods are not has detrimental impact on environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any requirement of paper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can save the trees.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
currency notes are drought of papers.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
easily
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "find"
finds
the black
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by keeping the history of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Possible spelling mistake found.
trasfer
.
Eventually
, person can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "get"
gets
discount or cashback.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Obstensibly
, online transaction is not imperative at all time. The prime reason is
Possible spelling mistake found.
cyberfraud
and hacking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
owner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
trouble of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
financial loss.
Moreover
, baby boomers and illiterate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find difficulties to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such kind of system and operate that
Possible spelling mistake found.
requrement
of internet connectivity is an inevitable.
In conclusion
, I
firmly
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
if fruitful for all.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which can be
Consider using the past participle "alleviated"?
alleviate
by proper management and in future it will replace conventional currency.
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IELTS essay currency notes have been replaced by the plastic money, and now it is all about online transaction. Discuss advantage and disadvantages of the online money transaction.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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