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PARENTS OF OBESE CHILDREN SHOULD BE PUNISHED FOR MAKING THEIR CHILDREN FAT. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

PARENTS OF OBESE CHILDREN SHOULD BE PUNISHED FOR MAKING THEIR CHILDREN FAT. xm8Ba
Globally, juvenile obesity has become a matter of serious concern. It is often debated that parents should be penalized for the problem of overweight in children. This essay will argue in support of the premise that they should be sanctioned for this. Firstly, parents have become too busy to fulfill the nutritional needs of their children by purchasing and feeding them with junk foods purchased from fast food outlets, rather than make healthy homemade meals. The problem is not in ensuring that young ones are kept full on their stomach; instead, the challenge lies with the fact that young people are fed with diets that foster excessive weight gain, a situation that some caregivers have refused to give attention to. 95% of young obese individuals were found to be a product of homes where mothers feed young people with restaurant foods, according to a recent survey conducted in India. Thus, feeding young ones with diets that promotes overweight is a serious offence that they should be held accountable for. Secondly, once plump, many juveniles find it challenging to shed the weight gained because their guardians do not encourage them to engage in physical activities that could enhance weight loss. Most fathers and/or mothers do not take physical exercises seriously. So, assisting there become an arduous task. In many Nigerian homes, for instance, it’s not a common practice to see fathers and mothers and their children engaging in keep fit routine. As a result, weight-loss becomes a challenge for young ones suffering from corpulence. Overall, failure on the part of some father and mother to assist their young loved ones in losing some calories, make them responsible for the weight gained by their offspring. This essay argued why parents should be punished for the obese nature of their wards. Conclusively, then, they should be regarded as the cause of nutritional deficiency and activities that foster obesity in little ones.
Globally, juvenile obesity has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a matter of serious concern. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debated that parents should
be penalized
for the problem of overweight in children. This essay will argue in support of the premise that they should
be sanctioned
for this.

Firstly
, parents have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
too busy to fulfill the nutritional needs of their children by purchasing and feeding them with junk foods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food outlets,
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
healthy homemade meals. The problem is not in ensuring that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
full on their stomach;
instead
, the challenge lies with the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are fed
with diets that foster excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
gain, a situation that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
caregivers have refused to give attention to. 95% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
obese individuals
were found
to be a product of homes where mothers feed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with restaurant foods, according to a recent survey conducted in India.
Thus
, feeding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
with diets that promotes overweight is a serious
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
that they should
be held
accountable for.

Secondly
, once plump,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
juveniles find it challenging to shed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their guardians do not encourage them to engage in physical activities that could enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
loss. Most fathers and/or mothers do not take physical exercises
seriously
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, assisting there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an arduous task. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Nigerian homes,
for instance
, it’s not a common practice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
fathers and mothers and their children engaging in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit routine.
As a result
, weight-loss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
a challenge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
suffering from corpulence.
Overall
, failure on the part of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
father and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
to assist their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in losing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
calories,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them responsible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
gained by their offspring.

This essay argued why parents should
be punished
for the obese nature of their wards.
Conclusively
, then, they should
be regarded
as the cause of nutritional deficiency and activities that foster obesity in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.

IELTS essay PARENTS OF OBESE CHILDREN SHOULD BE PUNISHED FOR MAKING THEIR CHILDREN FAT.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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