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Parents are busy nowadays and they are not able to give time to their children. So they are becoming indisciplined and careless. What do you think are the main factors behind this? What remedial actions can be taken by the parents?

Parents are busy nowadays and they are not able to give time to their children. So they are becoming indisciplined and careless. What do you think are the main factors behind this? What remedial actions can be taken by the parents? dolW7
It is often believed that parents remain busy and do not have sufficient time to spend with their children, which affects adversely on the overall development of their offsprings. I agree with this statement and think monotonous life to be a prime cause behind the situation. I also believe that progenitors can improve this condition by sparing some time for their young ones. To begin with, the most compelling reason for a child's improper behavior and carelessness is due to parents’ monotonous lifestyle. In most of the families, both the parents are working and they do not get any time for their kids. Since the kids are raised in daycare facilities, they hardly learn about morals and ethics. As a consequence, the child is not molded properly by learning manners and discipline, which is an indispensable aspect of life. For instance, my friend's son shows less emotional bonding with the family because he was kept in boarding school since his early childhood. Thus, the main reason for the child's improper behavior and mannerism is due to parents over involvement in the business or office work and leaving the child away in daycare or boarding schools. Another reason that keeps parents away from taking care of kids is their involvement in social circles. Many parents are seen busy on social media sites and enjoying parties, leaving their youngones in their condition. The young children feel deprive of love and see their parents busy in their parties and celebrations. Consequently, it sets a negative picture in the mind of a child and affects his behavior. However, just like every problem, this can also be resolved. The working parents should daily spare time for their kids and must ask them about their daily tasks such as homework. In addition, at least one meal of the day should be taken with the whole family so that the child feels the warmth of the family along with the learning of crucial elements such as sharing and caring for others. Moreover, it is observed that many parents remain busy on watsap and facebook instead of caring for their offsprings, which is definitely not a good way of parenting. In all the cases, whether parents are working or not, the ultimate solution is to give a child ample of love and care by sparing quality time with him. In this way, the child would grow perfectly and would show no disciplinary problems. In conclusion, I pen down saying that every child is an important and he should be loved and cared for by the parents. As a result, every parent should spare enough time with the child to see him molded in the desired way.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
and do not have sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their children, which affects
adversely
on the
overall
development of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
monotonous life to be a prime cause behind the situation. I
also
believe that progenitors can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this condition by sparing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their young ones.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the most compelling reason for a child's improper behavior and carelessness is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
monotonous lifestyle. In most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are raised
in daycare facilities, they hardly learn about morals and ethics. As a consequence, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is not molded
properly
by learning manners and discipline, which is an indispensable aspect of life.
For instance
, my friend's son
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
less emotional bonding with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in boarding school since his early childhood.
Thus
, the main reason for the child's improper behavior and mannerism is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
over involvement in the business or office work and leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
away in daycare or boarding schools.

Another reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
away from taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
is their involvement in social circles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
on social media sites and enjoying parties, leaving their
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngones
in their condition. The young children feel deprive of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
in their parties and celebrations.
Consequently
, it sets a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
picture in the mind of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and affects his behavior.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like every problem, this can
also
be resolved
. The working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should daily spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ask them about their daily tasks such as homework.
In addition
, at least one meal of the day should
be taken
with the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
feels the warmth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
along with the learning of crucial elements such as sharing and caring for others.
Moreover
, it
is observed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
busy
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
watsap
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
instead
of caring for their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
, which is definitely not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of parenting. In all the cases, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working or not, the ultimate solution is to give a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
ample of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care by sparing quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with him. In this way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
would grow
perfectly
and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
no disciplinary problems.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, I pen down saying that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is an
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
important and
he should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
and cared for by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
As a result
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
should spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
him molded in the desired way.
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IELTS essay Parents are busy nowadays and they are not able to give time to their children. So they are becoming indisciplined and careless. What do you think are the main factors behind this? What remedial actions can be taken by the parents?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
448 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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