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It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? Wynw5
It is commonly witnessed that in some countries there will be a higher amount of old people compared to younger section. Both the merits and demerits of this will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. The first and foremost merit of higher amount of older people will be seen in the near future as old people are considered as the valueable citizens of the society. The advices, opinions given by them give tremendous benefits to the society. It is widely seen that their opinions are more sound and practical. In addition to this, old section of people have more experience due to which they provide valuable guidance to others. The guidance provided by them is boon for the people. Another clear merit is, values imbibe by significant number of old section of society have resulted to protect the culture of the country. The old generation people are cognizant and have insight of culture and values. Furthermore, values can be incorporated from them and can be applied practically in one's life. They provide a direction to the people. According to a research conducted by an eminent Sociologist, Henry cook at Harvard University, it was revealed that higher proportion of older people have remarkable ability to protect the culture and values of the country. On the contrary, higher group of older people have some disadvantages like according to modernised time, older people are unfamiliar with the tasks that a younger individual has to do for their livelihood. They lack in deep knowledge of today's jobs and practicality. Besides this, old people are not sturdy to work physically that younger generations can do. They are deprived of enthusiasm, energy level and work level and if there will be higher amount of them, the economic comprehensive growth will hamper. The economy will not be financially viable too. To conclude, although older section of people have positive effects on the society as well as people, the drawbacks of task management and economic growth need to be considered.
It is
commonly
witnessed that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries there will be a higher amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
compared to younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
section
. Both the merits and demerits of this will
be discussed
in the upcoming paragraphs.

The
first
and foremost merit of higher amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the near future as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are considered
as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
valueable
citizens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The advices, opinions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by them give tremendous benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. It is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that their opinions are more sound and practical.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
section
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more experience due to which they provide valuable guidance to others. The guidance provided by them is boon for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
merit is, values imbibe by significant number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
section
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
have resulted to protect the culture of the country. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are cognizant and have insight of culture and values.
Furthermore
, values can
be incorporated
from them and can
be applied
practically
in one's life. They provide a direction to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. According to
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
conducted by an eminent Sociologist, Henry
The singular proper name 'Henry' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "cooks", "cooked".
cook
at Harvard University, it
was revealed
that higher proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have remarkable ability to protect the culture and values of the country.

On the contrary
, higher group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages like according to
Possible spelling mistake. 'modernised' is British English.
modernised
time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unfamiliar with the tasks that a younger individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do for their livelihood. They lack in deep knowledge of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's jobs and practicality.
Besides
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not sturdy to work
physically
that younger generations can do. They
are deprived
of enthusiasm, energy level and work level and if there will be higher amount of them, the economic comprehensive growth will hamper. The economy will not be
financially
viable too.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
section
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the drawbacks of task management and economic growth need to
be considered
.
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IELTS essay It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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