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Parents and adults should make important decisions for their older teenager children.Use specific reason and examples to support my notion?

Parents and adults should make important decisions for their older teenager children. Use specific reason and examples to support my notion? r8ppn
It is true that parents play a vital role for their older children owing to the fact that children years are fragile and vulnerable, it is good time to make a child or break a child. But, on the other hand, parents always make all decision for their children, as a result, child could not become independent in their life and could not challenge all circumstances and cannot take a better position. There are umpteen numbers of reason to support my notion, the first and foremost point is that parents are teach their children moral and practical needs which help them to tackle up and downs of life and help them to grow and take all good decision in their lyf. Although, adults relatives are better to understand all circumstance which was facing in their past life. Consequently, they make their child more independent and multipal avenues can be explored. Allied to this, parents can provide their child a optimistic view to face all challenges. If parents cannot give their better advice for their children, they become weakly and distract with malpractices. From another prospectives, teenager will needs to become independent in their life due to the fact that strong determination is reliable for all teenagers. Furthermore, I suffered many problem to my persuring education after high school. So, i was decided to take a better position with my own view. Virtues have play a vital role to make a child as problem solving ang decision making. The simple point is that children own decision is necessary to achieve better goal in their life. I personally favour the first view, parents are role model for their tennager and teach moral values. The simple point is that child decision is necessary but parents support and favour also important for their tennagers to become more dependent.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play a vital role for their older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
owing to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
years are fragile and vulnerable, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
or break a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
on the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
independent in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and could not challenge all circumstances and cannot take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
position. There are umpteen numbers of reason to support my notion, the
first
and foremost point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
Consider using a past participle here: "taught".
teach
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
moral and practical needs which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to tackle up and downs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to grow and take all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
in their
Possible spelling mistake found.
lyf
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, adults relatives are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to understand all circumstance which was facing in their past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Consequently
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
more independent and
Possible spelling mistake found.
multipal
avenues can
be explored
. Allied to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can provide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
optimistic view to face all challenges. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
cannot give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
advice for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
weakly
and distract with malpractices. From another
Possible spelling mistake found.
prospectives
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "need"
needs
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
independent in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
due to the fact that strong determination is reliable for all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
Furthermore
, I suffered
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "many problems".
many problem
to my
Possible spelling mistake found.
persuring
education after high school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was decided
to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
position with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view. Virtues have play a vital role to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as problem solving ang
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
. The simple point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
is necessary to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
goal in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I
personally
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
the
first
view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are role model for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
tennager
and teach moral values. The simple point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
is necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
support and
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
tennagers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more dependent.
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IELTS essay Parents and adults should make important decisions for their older teenager children. Use specific reason and examples to support my notion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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