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Parenting has changed a lot during a course of time. It is a good idea for parents to attend childcare training courses for effective parenting? Do you agree or disagree?

Parenting has changed a lot during a course of time. It is a good idea for parents to attend childcare training courses for effective parenting? xPJey
These days the way of nurturing has changed completely some people think that it is better for parents to enrol in parenting training courses for better upbringing of their child. I am agree with the statement as there are two major reasons of joining childcare coaching sessions. To begin with one of the main reason of attending tutoring sessions is that it becomes more helpful for new parents in bringing up their child as they get various perspectives on the raising process of a newborn baby from the tutors running the course. For example, the couples who became parents for the first time and they have no idea of a bringing a toddler and no one is there to guide them such as grandparents. So after attending parenting tutoring sessions they will come to know about the more effective ways of bringing a child up. Another major benefit is the diet which also plays a vital role for children while bringing up. To elaborate, if the parents attend parenting training courses, they will come to know about necessary diet plans that which diet is better for their child. This not only help in mind growth, but also in physical growth. For instance, my friend and his wife who recently became parents was unaware about the appropriate diet of their 2 months old daughter Pooja and due to poor immunity caused by a balanced diet she was facing sickness every week and now they joined the parenting course and after they come to know about the perfect diet and now Pooja's health improved a lot. In conclusion, after attending parenting coaching classes parents are able to understand about bringing up their child and more effectively and the appropriate diet.
These days the way of nurturing has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to enrol in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
for better upbringing of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement as there are two major reasons of joining childcare coaching sessions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with one of the main reason of attending tutoring sessions is that it becomes more helpful for new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bringing
up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
various perspectives on the raising process of a newborn baby from the tutors running the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
For example
, the couples who became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for the
first
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bringing
a toddler and no one is there to guide them such as grandparents.
“So after” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So after
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
tutoring sessions they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the more effective ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bringing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
up.

Another major benefit is the diet which
also
plays a vital role for children while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bringing
up. To elaborate, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about necessary diet plans that which diet is better for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in mind growth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in physical growth.
For instance
, my friend and his wife who recently became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
was unaware about the appropriate diet of their 2 months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
daughter
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pooja
and due to poor immunity caused by a balanced diet she was facing sickness every week and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
and after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to know about the perfect diet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pooja
's health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
a lot.

In conclusion
, after attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
coaching classes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are able to understand about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bringing
up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and more
effectively
and the appropriate diet.
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IELTS essay Parenting has changed a lot during a course of time. It is a good idea for parents to attend childcare training courses for effective parenting?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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