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In some countries, the number of shootings increases because many people have guns at home. Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

In some countries, the number of shootings increases because many people have guns at home. Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer. qQm7P
Nowadays crime rate growing day by day in global. than lots of a people hold pistols for their security and have weapons at house. We also know the number of shooting increase slightly. I will partially agree with a this statement and follow my answer. On the one hand, it is true shoot down cases rise alarming rate. Firstly people have gun because they keep for their safety and family protection. Secondly, the number of people hold a weapons for social status and show power in communities and his hobby. Thirdly many people have lots of a money they feel not safe in society because fear of is family and money stolen than keep gun for protection. Finally, The several humans hold weapons for usage unnecessary shoot. for example ceremony, parties and used in place of cracker. On the other hand, some times person holding guns own home it is very negative influence for teenager and family. Furthermore some time individual p person not control anger than they miss used of gun. Moreover, some pupils have no knowledge of weapons as well as not take maintenance. However, in many cases people irrelevant handed down in domestic violence. In my opinion, government should make some rule and regulation for weapons as well as provide a basic training of weapons ussage because some people have no knowledge. IN conclusion, it is clear that having a gun in a house is a reason for further shooting. These should be some rules for private guns ownship ussage of gun should be banned for children than could save many lives.
Nowadays crime rate growing day by day in global.
Did you mean "Then"?
than
lots of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold pistols for their security and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. We
also
know the number of shooting increase
slightly
. I will
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
Maybe you need to remove the second determiner so that only "a" or "this" is left.
a this
statement and follow my answer.

On the one hand, it is true shoot down cases rise alarming rate.
Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
for their safety and family protection.
Secondly
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
for social status and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
power in communities and his hobby.
Thirdly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have lots of a money they feel not safe in society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
fear of is family and money stolen than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
for protection.
Finally
, The several humans hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
for usage unnecessary shoot.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example ceremony, parties and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in place of cracker.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "times'" or "time's"?
times
person holding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
and family.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time individual p person not control anger than they miss
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pupils have no knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
as well
as not take maintenance.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
irrelevant handed down in domestic violence.

In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
and regulation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
as well
as provide a basic training of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weapons
Possible spelling mistake found.
ussage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no knowledge.

IN conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is a reason for
further
shooting. These should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
Possible spelling mistake found.
ownship
Possible spelling mistake found.
ussage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
should
be banned
for children than could save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay In some countries, the number of shootings increases because many people have guns at home. Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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