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Parenting courses for new parents to raise their children better. How far you agree or disagree on this topic?

Parenting courses for new parents to raise their children better. How far you agree or disagree on this topic? PEjLw
Upbring of off-springs in an extremely tedious and delicate work for all the parents. Nonetheless, the world is segregated into two poles to provide the parenting teaching to parents to raise their children. I am in complete agreement to this notion that such learnings should be provided to new fathers-mothers as this is going to help them to identify the symptoms of diseases at early stages, can provide the better nutrition and also help to parents to be prepared to handle this tiresome job. To begin with, human infants are highly fragile, hence are susceptible to the different diseases. Therefore, parents should recognize such syndromes at its beginning stage itself and it can be done by providing parenting courses to these couples. Secondly, such lessons are also going to help them to keep a check on the nutrition values of their child which are being provided in food and are indispensable for the growth of physical, mental and immune system of their kid. As per research conducted by York University deduces that the infants are not only more robust but grow faster of those parents who attended such parenting learning classes. Certainly, being a parent is a very strenuous task and need enormous amount of energy and patience. Furthermore, this job not only testify parents’ physical strength, but mental as well. Therefore, parents can make them well prepared to bear this task by taking such upbringing related classes. As per a research paper published in Melbourne Times suggests that people who attended these session during early days of their pregnancy were more placid and pragmatic in comparison to their peers. In conclusion, apparently, becoming new parents is a new beginning to the life which brings more responsibilities for the parents. Thus, all the parents should attend the parenting courses to provide best upbringing to their off-springs.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Upbring
of off-springs in an
extremely
tedious and delicate work for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Nonetheless, the world
is segregated
into two poles to provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
teaching to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to raise their children. I am in complete agreement to this notion that such learnings should
be provided
to new fathers-mothers as this is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to identify the symptoms of diseases at early stages, can provide the better nutrition and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
be prepared
to handle this tiresome job.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, human infants are
highly
fragile,
hence
are susceptible to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
diseases.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should recognize such syndromes at its beginning stage itself and it can
be done
by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
courses to these couples.
Secondly
, such lessons are
also
going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on the nutrition values of their child which are
being provided
in food and are indispensable for the growth of physical, mental and immune system of their kid. As per research conducted by York University deduces that the infants are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
more robust
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
grow faster of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who attended such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
learning classes.

Certainly
, being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strenuous task and need enormous amount of energy and patience.
Furthermore
, this job not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
testify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
physical strength,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
mental
as well
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well prepared
to bear this task by taking such upbringing related classes. As per a research paper published in Melbourne Times suggests that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who attended
Did you mean "this session" or "these sessions"?
these session
during early days of their pregnancy were more placid and pragmatic
in comparison
to their peers.

In conclusion
,
apparently
, becoming new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is a new beginning to the life which brings more responsibilities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Thus
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parenting
courses to
A determiner is probably missing here: "provide the best".
provide best
upbringing to their off-springs.
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IELTS essay Parenting courses for new parents to raise their children better. How far you agree or disagree on this topic?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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