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Parent often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up? v.2

Parent often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up? v. 2
Although these days almost parents worldwide claiming that they prefer to offer everything that their children request, I am in favour of the opinion that while it may be good in some situations, children should be limited by adults to avoid unexpected consequences when they become mature citizens. There are good grounds for arguing that pampering is beneficial for building up happy families. The most persuasive argument is that family members may build strong relationships together through giving children food, toys, or time for playing. Small families, for example, not only may parents have more chances to communicate with their offspring, but they also may figure out kids’ habits and vocations. Another related issue is that if adults wish to comprehend the kids’ world, they need to offer what the kids ask for. Needless to say, this is particularly crucial for children offered enough physical goods to develop comprehensively. Nevertheless, there is a myriad of strong arguments in favour of my stance for discouraging parents offering goods for kids due to certain demerits. This is because one extremely important principle is that when children satisfied whenever they request, they may lose the determination to gain successes. For children growing up in wealthy families with easy-going parents, it is apparent that children may not have core skills because they are used to receive everything simply without working to the bone. Last but not least, it is the responsibility of the parents to refuse unreasonable requests. As a result, it seems wrong for people to satisfy children unconditionally. In view of these aforementioned discussions, I do accept that there are good reasons for giving goods for children, but my stance is that parents have to decide what to offer and refuse unappropriated requests because significant consequences are too dire to ignore.
Although these days almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
worldwide claiming that they prefer to offer everything that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
request
, I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the opinion that while it may be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be limited
by adults to avoid unexpected consequences when they become mature citizens.

There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
grounds for arguing that pampering is beneficial for building up happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. The most persuasive argument is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members may build strong relationships together through giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
food, toys, or time for playing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
for example
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have more chances to communicate with their offspring,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
may figure out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids’
habits and vocations. Another related issue is that if adults wish to comprehend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids’
world, they need to offer what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
. Needless to say, this is
particularly
crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
offered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
to develop
comprehensively
.

Nevertheless
, there is a myriad of strong arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of my stance for discouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
due to certain demerits. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
principle is that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
satisfied whenever they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
request
, they may lose the determination to gain successes. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
growing up in wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
with easy-going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, it is apparent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may not have core
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
In the grammatical structure 'pronoun + be/get + used + to + verb', the verb 'used' is used with the gerund: "used to receiving".
used to receive
everything
simply
without working to the bone. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to refuse unreasonable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
requests
.
As a result
, it seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to satisfy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
unconditionally
.

In view of these aforementioned discussions, I do accept that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
reasons for giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my stance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
decide what to offer and refuse unappropriated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
requests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
significant consequences are too dire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Parent often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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