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Paraphraseing article about Oman

Paraphraseing article about Oman jodW8
Omanis have constantly taken pride in their role as the owners of an old civilization. In Oman the national heritage has a considerable value. Omanis have found a formula that gathering history and the present as a global role model in how to combine authenticity and innovation. They haven’t failed in achieving a way of life that combines historical and modern elements in social and cultural life aspects. Omani affiliation is not about belonging to the land only; actually it is also identity as a philosophy or lifestyle. Collaboration, contribution and close interrelationship between the different state institutions particularly institutions which take part of Omani citizens in the decision-making, are the main features of this lifestyle. Leadership decision is what we build and work according to the requirements, needs and realities of Oman which are suitable with stages that we want to achieve. The Sultanate’s long-term strategy was adopted in order to improve a modern state, with a special emphasis on the improvement and protection of Omani heritage and public culture.
Omanis have
constantly
taken pride in their role as the owners of an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
civilization. In Oman the national heritage has a considerable value. Omanis have found a formula that gathering history and the present as a global role model in how to combine authenticity and innovation. They haven’t failed in achieving a way of life that combines historical and modern elements in social and cultural life aspects.

Omani affiliation is not about belonging to the land
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
; actually it is
also
identity as a philosophy or lifestyle. Collaboration, contribution and close interrelationship between the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
state institutions
particularly
institutions which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
of Omani citizens in the decision-making,
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
the main features of this lifestyle. Leadership decision is what we build and work according to the requirements, needs and realities of Oman which are suitable with stages that we want to achieve. The Sultanate’s long-term strategy
was adopted
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a modern state, with a special emphasis on the improvement and protection of Omani heritage and public culture.
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IELTS essay Paraphraseing article about Oman

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
171 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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