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It is better to do exercise and play sports inside

It is better to do exercise and play sports inside XnVMw
It is better to do exercise and play sports inside than outdoors for three main reasons. Firstly, people who do exercise or play sports inside when it is the rainy season will not get wet. However, if you play sports in the rainy season, sometimes you will get wet. Secondly, playing sports inside is safer than playing sports outdoors. If you play inside, you will not hurt too much. For example, If an accident occurs in a gym it is better than the ground because it is not as hurt as on the ground. On the other hand, a player who plays a sport outdoors, if an accident occurs, it will be too hurt. Finally, do exercise or play sports inside is get better health, as all of sports that play inside, it makes you a good health, while play sports outdoors, sometimes you can be sick, because some days the weather is very bad. To sum up, exercise and play spots inside are better than outdoors in terms of the rainy season, a safer place when an accident is occurred and the weather changes.
It is
better
to do
exercise
and
play
sports
inside
than
outdoors
for three main reasons.
Firstly
,
people
who do
exercise
or
play
sports
inside
when it is the rainy season will not
get
wet.
However
, if you
play
sports
in the rainy season,
sometimes
you will
get
wet.
Secondly
, playing
sports
inside
is safer than playing
sports
outdoors
. If you
play
inside
, you will not hurt too much.
For example
, If an accident occurs in a gym it is
better
than the ground
because
it is not as hurt as on the ground.
On the other hand
, a player who
plays
a
sport
outdoors
, if an accident occurs, it will be
too hurt
.
Finally
, do
exercise
or
play
sports
inside
is
get
better
health, as all of
sports
that
play
inside
, it
makes
you a
good
health, while
play
sports
outdoors
,
sometimes
you can be sick,
because
some
days the weather is
very
bad
. To sum up,
exercise
and
play
spots
inside
are
better
than
outdoors
in terms of the rainy season, a safer place when an accident
is occurred
and the weather
changes
.
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IELTS essay It is better to do exercise and play sports inside

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
185 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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