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Does fast food detrimental to the children ? Give your opinion and suggestions

Does fast food detrimental to the children? Give your opinion and suggestions bbEqW
It is irrefutable that fast food has become our part of life.  But I strongly believe that fast food is detrimental to humanity its affects health in a vast manner. This essay will discuss the reasons behind it and suggest some measures to over the issues. Many of the parents are going to work on every therefore they do not have time to cook for their children. Children are easily accessible to these types of foods since it’s available to them in school canteens. And children are fond of fast foods such as pizza, burger, coke and so on. This can be overcome by teaching children to cook for themselves at home whenever parents couldn’t make food. The proper awareness must be give to parents as well as children to make them realize the negative effects on health. In conclusion, fast food has become unavoidable in our day today life, and undoubtedly which is detrimental to our future generation. Government should educate parents as well as children on this matter and should take actions to ban or reduce such foods especially to reduce the health risk on children.
It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has become our part of life.  
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is detrimental to humanity its affects health
Consider replacing "in a vast manner" with the adverb for "vast"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a vast manner
. This essay will discuss the reasons behind it and suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to over the issues.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are going to work on every
therefore
they do not have time to cook for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are
easily
accessible to these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
since it’s available to them in school canteens. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are fond of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
such as pizza, burger, coke and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

This can
be overcome
by teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to cook for themselves at home whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. The proper awareness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be give to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them realize the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on health.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has become unavoidable in our day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
life, and
undoubtedly
which is detrimental to our future generation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on this matter and should take actions to ban or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
especially
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Does fast food detrimental to the children? Give your opinion and suggestions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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