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Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. v.31

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. v. 31
It is certain that the considerable increasing urban population leads to serious problems. There are several negative points for this problem, and various measures can be tackled by the governments and individuals to improve the situation. Overpopulation in towns brings people some drawbacks. Firstly, one of the major problems that is environmental pollution. Obviously, the city is storing a large quality of wastes from people. For instance, due to the large number of citizens living in the city, the amount of food consumption is higher than others provinces; therefore, cities have kind of garbage, such as products plastic. Secondly, growing population can lead to the unemployment rate. To illustrate, there is a tendency for young people to migrate to Hanoi; thus, it causes imbalance in the supply of employment. There are some solutions to improve these problems. The government plays a vital role in reducing in joblessness. Nowadays, many people are out of work; consequently, the government should provide policies and physical conditions for developing other places with a goal as creating jobs. Furthermore, people have to prepare themselves better skills in opportunities looking for a job. In addition, people should be educated about green life when they stay in town. For example, people need to limit wastes into the environment by the way of recycling them. In conclusion, overpopulation of large town makes the unemployment situation more and more increase, and it affects the environment; nevertheless, these problems can be tackled with the support from the government developing economies in others areas to going down the percentage of unemployment. Besides, reducing population in urban helps us to protect the environment.
It is certain that the considerable increasing urban population leads to serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. There are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, and various measures can
be tackled
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation.

Overpopulation in towns brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.
Firstly
, one of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that is
environmental pollution.
Obviously
, the city is storing a large quality of wastes from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, due to the large number of citizens living in the city, the amount of food consumption is higher than others provinces;
therefore
, cities have kind of garbage, such as products plastic.
Secondly
, growing population can lead to the unemployment rate. To illustrate, there is a tendency for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to migrate to Hanoi;
thus
, it causes imbalance in the supply of employment.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
plays a vital role
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in reducing in
joblessness. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are out of work;
consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should provide policies and physical conditions for developing other places with a goal as creating jobs.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
prepare themselves better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in opportunities looking for a job.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be educated
about green life when they stay in town.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to limit wastes into the environment by the way of recycling them.

In conclusion
, overpopulation of large town
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the unemployment situation more and more increase, and it affects the environment;
nevertheless
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can
be tackled
with the support from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
developing economies in others areas to going down the percentage of unemployment.
Besides
, reducing population in urban
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to protect the environment.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. v. 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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